Tenchi Muyo!: Witch World
by Vladimir Klaud
Summary: A lost "Time and Space" Adventure. Tenchi, his wife, and daughter, move into a house haunted by the ghost of a witch named Ryoko.
1. Chapter 1

_(Author's note: The owners of the Tenchi franchise have often placed this ensemble of characters in new situations without regard to previous continuities. In the first TV series, Washu invents a device that hurls them all into several different worlds where the faces are the same, but the relationships and stories are very different. Consider this to be a chronicle of one of those worlds -- which we viewers never got to see.)_

Tenchi Muyo!: Witch World

Episode One: "Moving In"

They could now see it from inside the car as they approached it.

It was Tenchi and Kiyone's dream come true. A large, beautiful house out in the Japanese countryside. But the real estate agent, one Mr. Amagasaki, had qualms about showing it to them a few days ago. They had to insist that he give them a tour of it, before he reluctantly acquiesced.

"I'll admit it is a little larger than a family of three needs," remarked Tenchi, in the back seat, as he took in the impressive sight. "But a growing family can never have too many rooms, right?"

"And I love the spacious grounds," added Kiyone, rubbing up beside him. "One's neighbor's should be at a comfortable distance."

"Be that as it may, are you sure you wouldn't want to look at the other nice properties I told you about?" asked Amagasaki, as he shifted nervously in the driver's seat, clearly trying one more time to steer them away from visiting this house.

And Tenchi wanted to know why. "You know, I get the feeling there's something about the place that you're reluctant to tell us. If so, I wish you'd just come out with it."

Amagasaki looked very uncomfortable as he parked the car near the front entrance, on the white gravelly driveway which encirled the house the happy couple were interested in.

He turned to face the two of them. "My boss would kill me for telling you this, but you seem like nice people. The truth is, Mr. Masaki, this house has a bit of a bad history with our agency. We have sold it many times, because every time we do, the new occupants very soon become very anxious to move elsewhere. I'd just as soon not go through that again."

"So what seems to be the problem with it?" asked Kiyone.

"I want you to understand that I'm not trying to be funny," began Amagasaki, "but the majority of the former owners seem to agree that it is a haunted house."

Kiyone lit up like a light bulb. She couldn't have been more relieved -- or intrigued. "You mean it actually has a resident ghost? Tenchi, you hear that?"

Tenchi nodded, returning her smile. "I've never met a real ghost, before."

Amagasaki frowned at them. "The others took it just as lightly as first, too, before they learned how unpleasant it can be to share a home with a spirit who doesn't want you there. Then my headaches begin all over again."

"Well, I, for one, would love to meet this spirit," said Kiyone. "Think we'll bump into him or her today?"

"I've never witnessed anything supernatural, myself, you understand," admitted Amagasaki. "But even so, there's no denying that something is driving people away from living here."

vvv

Inside the house, the ghost watched them from a second story window with her arms folded and a mischievous smile on her face. She saw three people get out of the car and make their way to the front door.

"Well," she muttered to herself, "it looks as though another pair of idiots are planning to take up residence here. When are these jokers ever gonna learn that this is _my_ place?"

vvv

Amagasaki unlocked the door and allowed the happy couple to enter first.

"Wow!" was all Kiyone could say at the sight of the spacious living room. It was flanked on the left with a staircase which led up to a balcony that overlooked the living area and led to the second floor rooms as well.

"Yes," agreed Amagasaki, grudgingly admitting that but for the spook, this would have been a nice place for anyone to live. "This way, please."

He showed them into the adjoining room. "Here is the dining area. As you can see, it is designed with a larger family in mind."

Tenchi and Kiyone looked at one another and smiled.

"We'll see what we can do to fill it up,' said Tenchi

Amagasaki cleared his throat uncomfortably. He really didn't feel like going there.

"Tenchi and I are party animals," explained Kiyone. "When we decide to celebrate something...everyone's invited!"

"Oh," Amagasaki chided himself for having his mind in the gutter. "And over here, we have the kitchen..."

No one noticed Ryoko's face peering down from the ceiling. But the ghost sure got a close look at the strangers as they marched into her kitchen.

"Party animals, eh?" Ryoko said to herself. "Then you should have a blast at the welcoming party I have in store for you!"

vvv

Amagasaki showed them the rooms of the second floor, then he took his clients back outside to the car, after making sure he relocked the door to the house.

"We'll take it," said Kiyone and Tenchi at the same time.

"Are you sure you won't reconsider?"

"No way," they said .

"Fine. It's your decision. I'll take you back to the office and we can get everything squared away so you can start moving in on Monday."

"Great!" the happy couple re-entered the car.

"And I'll keep the other paperwork on standby for when you'll want to move out again on Friday," he grumbled to himself, hopping back into the driver's seat.

vvv

The moving van was already there on Monday afternoon, when the family car arrived.

"Cheer up, Sasami," said Kiyone to her daughter, who was in the back seat and couldn't have looked more morose if she tried. "You'll be getting a much bigger room. And think of all the new friends you're going to make!"

"I don't wanna new room. I liked my old one. And I liked my old friends, too."

"Hey, it doesn't have to be goodbye, y'know," said her father, also trying to sound upbeat. "You can invite them over any time you want. And there's no reason why you couldn't visit them once in a while, too!"

Sasami looked at her dad with hopeful eyes. "Really?"

"Absolutely," said Tenchi.

The car came to a halt, and the family piled out. While Tenchi unlocked the house, Kiyone took charge of the moving men.

vvv

A little way down the road from this scene, in the window of the neighbor's house, a curtain moved aside to reveal a pair of peeping eyes.

"Nobuyuki!" exclaimed Ayeka. "Did you know there are people moving into the Kobayashi house, again?"

"You don't say?" answered her husband. He was in his favorite easy chair, reading the newspaper. "How long do you figure they'll last?"

She turned an annoyed look to him. "How should I know? I've never even met them!"

"Maybe we should go over and introduce ourselves."

"Don't be silly. They clearly have their hands full now, we would only be in the way. These things have to be done properly or not at all!"

"Hmm," conceded her husband, returning his attention to the paper.

"It looks like there's only three of them -- husband, wife...and a little girl."

"The last pair didn't have any children, did they?"

"No. And that's what I liked about them. No little brats running around, getting into mischief."

"Well, if she's a girl, it's not likely she'll be causing us any trouble, right?"

"Oh, you can be so clueless, sometimes."

vvv

"Hey, Lady! Where'd'ya want this stuff?" asked a mover carrying a stack of three cardboard boxes.

Kiyone turned to point to a bedroom closet, which had a sliding door. "You can put those in there, for now." Then she resumed directing two other fellows who were lugging in a heavy headboard from a king-sized bed.

The mover put the boxes down beside the closet to slide open the door. He did not expect the sight that greeted him inside of it. A skeleton with bulging bloodshot eyes and wild white hair around the skull grinned frighteningly at him.

Panicking, he quickly slid the door shut, spinning around and clutching his chest.

"What's the matter?" asked Kiyone, coming over.

"Lady, if that was supposed to be a joke, it ain't very funny!"

Kiyone slid the door open, but she didn't see anything inside. She thought he must have seen a spider or something. "It's an old house, and it hasn't been lived in for a while. I guess you gotta expect some surprises."

vvv

Tenchi and Sasami were taking a walk on the grounds. Sasami's mood had not improved much since the trip to get here. Her father sympathized; he was not unfamiliar with what she was going through. He knew that she'd eventually grow to love their new home, but for now, he really felt he needed to say something to her to cheer her up.

"Lotsa room here," he said to her. "You know what I think? It could really use something right here. Like a nice big swing set with a slide and a see-saw. What do you think?"

Sasami smiled at her dad. He was trying so hard. Sure a swing set would be fun. But she was more concerned with her immediate future. How long was she going to be alone and friendless in a strange place? Would the kids at her new school accept her or shun her?

Her parents seemed to think she would make new friends easily. But what if it didn't work out that way? She remembered how a new kid at her last school had such a difficult a time finding a group to fall in with. Now _she_ was going to be "the new kid." And every time she thought about that, it depressed her.

But she didn't want to keep showing her dad a pessimistic face. He could only be happy if she was happy. So, for his benefit, she drummed up some enthusiasm for his thought. Even though she was far from certain that even a new swing set would bring any fun into her life for some time yet to come.

"Sounds great!" she said.

Tenchi was no fool. What she was doing couldn't be more obvious to him. What Sasami needed right now was a diversion to take her mind off of her current troubles. It was time to bring out the big guns.

"Sasami, can you keep a secret?"

"A secret? About what?"

"Well-l-l-l, I haven't discussed telling you this with your mother, yet, but I think as a member of this family you have a right to know, so-o-o, I'm going to let you in on it. It seems that this house has a little bit of a...haunted...reputation."

"Haunted? You mean there's ghosts in there?"

"At least one, according to the guy who sold it to us. 'Course that may have been just a story in order to persuade us not to buy it."

"Why wouldn't he want you to buy it?"

Tenchi shrugged. "Who knows? But in case it turns out to be true, I didn't want you to get scared if you saw something weird or inexplicable happening."

This got the reaction Tenchi had been hoping for.

Sasami had burst out laughing!

"Oh, Daddy, that's so silly! You know there's no such things as ghosts!"

"Oh? Are you sure about that?

She looked at him strangely. "Aren't you?"

"Not really. I've never met an Eskimo, but they exist. So, just because I've never met a ghost, that's no guarantee that they don't exist. And if we meet one living in our new home, that would clear up all doubt, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah," agreed Sasami, suddenly quite intrigued. "That would be so cool!"

Just then, there was the sound of men screaming from the front side of the house.

"Sasami, stay here!" Tenchi ran off towards the source of the din.

Sasami watched her father dash off, her gaze turning toward the house that was now her home, like it or not. And saw what appeared to be a laughing woman with white spikey hair in one of the second story windows. That's when Sasami gasped, covering her mouth with both hands.

vvv

"But you can't just leave our stuff on the lawn!" argued Tenchi.

"You're lucky we didn't just drive off with it," snapped one of the movers.

"Look, I'm not paying you to do only half a job."

"This job isn't supposed to have anyhing to do with my men getting heart attacks," said the boss. "Let's make a gentlemen's agreement, okay? You don't sue us for leaving the job unfinished, and we won't sue you for your recklessly sick practical jokes. Deal?"

The movers didn't wait for any reply from Tenchi. They started up their van and practically flew down the road away from the property.

Tenchi watched them disappear into the distance with a flabbergasted look on his face. Presently, Kiyone joined him.

"What the heck was _that_ all about?" he asked her.

"Beats me," she said. "Those guys have been seeing things almost from the moment they started to bring the stuff inside. And each time I investigated, I didn't see anything unusual."

"Look at all this stuff out here," he complained. "Without some help, we're gonna be busy all night just getting it into the house, nevermind putting it where it needs to go."

vvv

Ryoko moved to a better vantage point to better appreciate what she had wrought upon the little family -- a window overlooking the front yard.

"Ha! Serves you right! Look at it this way, exhaustion makes you sleep better. If I decide to let you sleep in peace, that is," she chuckled.

A floorboard creaked behind her, causing her to turn away from the window. There was a little girl with her blue hair done up in two long ponytails standing at the entrance to the room.

The kid stared at Ryoko with big round unblinking pink eyes. Ryoko stared back, not quite sure what to do. Ryoko had gotten to be quite good at sneaking up on others, but this was the first time any mortal had gotten the drop on her!

"Are...are you a real ghost?" asked Sasami.

Ryoko saw no harm in answering her question. "That's right, kid. I'm Ryoko, a real ghost, in the flesh. Or, actually, the lack of it. Whatever. The point is, you people are in my house, and I don't like it. So for every day you invade my privacy, I'm gonna invade yours -- until you've had enough and get out."

"My name is Sasami," said Sasami, bowing slightly. "We didn't mean to trespass. We didn't even know there really were such things as ghosts. To tell you the truth, I wish we never left our old house. I was happy there."

"So, what are you doing here, anyway? If you don't mind me asking?"

"It was my mother's idea. She kept saying we needed a bigger place to live, and my father just always goes along with whatever she wants. Ryoko, I'm sure my folks would leave your house if you just ask them. You don't need to scare us away."

Ryoko's eyes crossed. It never occurred to her that all she had to do was ask. Still, that was never her style.

vvv

"Hi there, neighbors!"

Tenchi and Kiyone had been struggling with a heavy box at the front door, when they were approached by a man wearing glasses and a woman with dark purple hair who was, no doubt, his wife.

"We're from next door," the man continued. "I'm Nobuyuki Jurai and this is my wife, Ayeka."

"Pleased to meet you," said Ayeka with a polite smile and slight bow. "We couldn't help but notice the situation those men left you in, and came right over to offer our assistance."

"Gosh, that's really nice of you," said Tenchi. "I'm Tenchi Masaki, and this is my wife, Kiyone."

"Hi," Kiyone managed to say, despite imagining her hair was a mess, and not really prepared for visitors.

"Tell ya what, Tenchi," offered Nobuyuki. "How about us he-men handle the heavy items, while the ladies take care of the rest?"

"Sounds good to me," said Kiyone, eagerly abandoning her post beside the heavy box and towing Ayeka rather suddenly by the hand (sudden enough to cause a slight cry to erupt from her) to a nearby pile of smaller items.

As evening fell, the Masakis were elated to finally get everything inside the house. There would be plenty of time to find the proper places for all of it later. Kiyone unpacked a table and some plates, while Tenchi called a local restaurant to order some hot food for themselves and their new friends.

During dinner, Ayeka brought up the long history behind the house the Masakis were now living in.

"I assume someone must have told you about the legend of Ryoko Kobayashi?" she asked.

Upon hearing Ryoko's name mentioned, Sasami's chopsticks fell from her fingers.

"What's wrong, Sasami?" asked Kiyone. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Well-l-l-l, now that you mention it," answered Sasami, "I've not only seen Ryoko -- I've _talked_ with her, too."

"Are you serious, Sasami?" asked Tenchi.

Sasami nodded solemnly. "She scared the moving men away...and the other people who wanted to live here. She says this is her house, and we are invading her privacy. I got her to promise not to scare us for a week. But we have to be ready to leave by the end of it."

Tenchi turned to Ayeka. "What can you tell us about this ghost?"

Ayeka sighed. "The legend has it that the woman who haunts this house came from a long line of practitioners of black magic. But she used her powers once too often to make the townspeople miserable, so they called in a professional witch hunter, who was able to capture her and render her powerless long enough to be tried, convicted, and executed for her crimes. Ryoko's mother had her daughter's remains brought back to this house, although no one has ever located where she hid them. But since ghosts cannot stray very far from their remains, they must still be somewhere inside the house. Ryoko's spirit, it is said, has never forgiven the locals for what they did to her, so she does not want them in her house. Nobuyuki and I have seen a parade of would-be neighbors come and go, and all of them blamed the intolerable goings-on in the house as their reason for leaving."

Kiyone was unimpressed. "Well, ghost or not, houses belong to the living, not the dead. Nobody threatens my family or gives us ultimatums. I'm perfectly happy to share this house with her as long as she behaves. But if she thinks she can drive me or mine out, she's got another thing coming."

At that moment, Ryoko's voice reverberated throughout the living room.

"_I gave Sasami my word that I would bide my time for one week, and I intend to honor my word. But if you aren't ready to leave by this time next week, I will make you regret the day you ever set foot in this house."_

Ayeka and Nobuyuki's hair stood on end. They bolted screaming out the door, and didn't stop running until they were safely back inside their own home.

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Chapter 2

Tenchi Muyo!: Witch World

Episode 2: The Exorcist

Sasami's Diary, first entry:

_Mom thought it would be a good idea if I started to keep a diary, so she bought me this one. She says not many people live in a haunted house, and she says my memories of the things that happen while I'm still young will become valuable to me when I'm older._

_It's been a week since the ghost of Ryoko warned us to leave, or she'll start to scare us out. If I had my way, we'd go back to our old house, but Mom and Dad say they aren't afraid of Ryoko. I wish I knew why Ryoko wants to be alone. Being alone is definitely no fun._

_I've started going to my new school here. It's not so bad. I've made friends with one shy girl named Misao. I haven't told her yet about the ghost. Maybe after I get to know her a little better. If the other kids ever found out that I said we live with a ghost, they'll all think I'm a weirdo._

Sasami yawned, put down her pen and closed the book, locking it with a small key which she kept on a bracelet. She already had on her pajamas, so all she had left to do was turn out the lights and climb into bed.

"Good night, Ryoko."

Ryoko _had_ been invisibly watching over Sasami's shoulder while the girl was writing, reading every word, but she never suspected that the girl was aware of that. Still, she had decided that Sasami didn't deserve any bloodcurdling screams in the middle of the night.

It was her parents who were the real troublemakers. So, she paid them a little visit by passing through the wall that separated their room from Sasami's

vvv.

Tenchi and Kiyone had already kissed each other goodnight in their own bed and turned out the lights. But Ryoko's vision was just as good in the dark.

She looked down upon Tenchi's smiling face on his pillow, peacefully slumbering as if he hadn't a care in the world. Strangely, she caught herself smiling, too.

_Gotta admit,_ she thought, _he sure is a cutie_. _If I still had a body..._

Then she drifted over to Kiyone's side of the bed and looked down on her face.

_Smirky slut. Tenchi and Sasami are just going along with **you**, aren't they? Well, if that's the case, all I have to do is focus on you, right? Once I get you to change **your** mind about staying here, they'll follow you wherever you decide to run. And I'll have my place back to myself, again!_

Chuckling, Ryoko floated over to Kiyone's vanity table and helped herself to the cosmetics lying there.

The next morning, the radio alarm clock went off as it usually did with the local news. Kiyone got up, stretched, dragged herself over to her vanity, and plopped down on the seat. As her groggy eyes cleared their haze, she suddenly saw a horror movie clown staring back at her from the mirror!

"YEEAAAAGH!"

Tenchi bolted up in bed, turning in the direction his wife's startled cry came from...and saw a horror movie clown dressed in his wife's nightgown, seated at the vanity. This startled him into falling out of the bed with a yelp.

"Kiyone! What's the deal?" asked Tenchi from the floor, with one hand over his heart.

The clown answered in Kiyone's voice. "You think _I _did this?"

Ryoko's laughter filled the room.

Tenchi watched his wife slowly get up to head to the bathroom to clean up.

"And so it begins," was all she had to say on her way out.

Fortunately, the makeup did all come off, if not with soap and water, then with other solvents which Kiyone had back at the vanity. Satisfied with the cleanliness of her face, she went downstairs to help Tenchi and Sasami with getting breakfast fixed.

During breakfast, live bugs somehow kept turning up in Kiyone's food, but no one else's. Sasami, meanwhile, couldn't take her eyes off the bloody pork chop that was slowly inchworming its way up the nearby wall.

"She's h-e-e-e-e-re," said Sasami.

After sending her husband off to work with a kiss, Kiyone sent her daughter off to school with a kiss, too. The moment she closed the front door after them, a rotting corpse appeared, standing right beside her.

"Don't I get a kiss, too?" it asked with Ryoko's voice.

Kiyone just rolled her eyes, ignored it, and calmly went about clearing the dishes from the table.

Later, Kiyone sat down beside her computer, cracked her knuckles, and opened a word processing program. After a moment's thought, she began typing.

**I Lived in a Haunted House**

**by Kiyone Masaki**

She spent a couple of hours writing the first chapter, polishing it to perfection. She had almost forgotten about Ryoko, since the ghost hadn't done anything to her in a while.

Just as she was about to save the file, the screen went black. There was a sound, as if someone was whistling for a dog. Kiyone's attention turned to the source. And there was Ryoko, grinning by the wall, twirling the pulled cord around and around.

vvv

At the neighbor's house, Ayeka brought a fancy-looking tea set to the living room table.

"So, a few simple tricks, and she had you running over here in no time flat," Ayeka said as she poured some green tea into Kiyone's cup. "What are you going to do when she quits toying with you and starts getting serious?"

Kiyone, seated on the couch, gave her a startled look as she picked up her cup. "Has she ever seriously hurt anyone?"

Ayeka sat down beside her with a wry grin. "All the time, when she was alive. Or so the legends say. But in her present condition? I guess it depends on who you talk to. It's not hard to scare a person to death. And Ryoko has had nothing better to do for a long time than sharpen her sick sense of humor."

Ayeka poured herself some tea. "I recall a time when a previous lady of the house had just stepped in through the front door, when she heard a loud crash from behind. When she turned around, she saw her prized piano smashed to bits on the ground where she had just been standing only a second ago. Was Ryoko trying to kill her or merely frighten her? You tell me."

While Ayeka took a sip, Kiyone put two lumps of sugar into her own cup and stirred it.

"Did anyone else ever try to fight her back? Or did they all just give up and run?"

"My dear Kiyone, she is a ghost. How do you intend to fight someone who can float through walls, levitate objects, and make grown men wet their pants?"

"Well, ghosts can be exorcised, can't they?"

Ayeka smiled an evil grin. "Now you're talking. When I tried suggesting that to a few of your predecessors in that house, they accused me of trying to take advantage of their plight in order to drum up business for my father-in-law. Who just happens to be a priest who specializes in banishing spirits.

Maybe you heard of him? Katsuhito Jurai?"

Kiyone took a sip. Mmm, this was good tea. She wondered how many former neighbors Ayeka had entertained this way.

"His name does sound kind of familiar to me, come to think of it. Wasn't he the one who was called to that construction site in Tokyo? Where they had unearthed prehistoric poltergeists that were attacking the workers?"

"Yes, yes!" cried Ayeka excitedly. "That was him!"

Kiyone nodded. "I remember reading that story. They kicked his butt, didn't they?"

Ayeka frowned. "Well, of course, they did outnumber him, five to one. And he is not as young as he used to be. But that doesn't mean he may not still be just the answer to your problem."

Kiyone was dubious. "How do you think he'll stack up against Ryoko?"

"There's only one way to find out. Shall I give him a call?"

vvv

A car pulled up in front of Ayeka's house and halted. An elderly man bearing a slight resemblance to Nobuyuki stepped out, and was met by Ayeka and Kiyone.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice," bowed Ayeka.

"Not at all," said Katsuhito. "To tell you the truth, I've always wanted to take a crack at the Kobayashi ghost."

"So why haven't you, up till now?" asked Kiyone.

"Generally, I don't like to bother the dead until they become a problem. Up to now, most people living in that house preferred their own solution -- just move out. So as long as the spirit haunts an empty house, everybody's happy and nobody needs my services. And I don't do exorcisms _pro bono_, you know. A man's gotta eat."

"Ah," said Kiyone. "What do you charge for an exorcism?"

"Depends on the size of the job. There may be more than one spirit actually haunting the place. Or a spirit might be extra tough to budge. I really can't estimate my fee until I've actually had contact with the ghost in question."

"All right," agreed Kiyone. "Let's get to it, then."

vvv

"Hmm," Katsuhito rubbed his chin, as he stood inside the living room of the haunted house. "Yes. I can feel it. I definitely feel a presence here. It is evil. A soul filled with unfathomable rage against the living. A tormented soul, one who cannot find peace until a terrible injustice, which has gone on for far too long, has been righted. This is a spirit in pain, in anguish."

Then the voice of Ryoko reverberated throughout the room in response, as Ayeka gasped and Kiyone stood stone-faced.

_"Brother, are __**you **__laying it on __**thick**__! And who the heck __**are**__you__, anyway?"_

"I am Katsuhito Jurai, and I have been asked to come here today to bring you peace."

_"An exorcist, huh? This oughta be good for some laughs. Well, go ahead, I could use a little exorcise."_

Katsuhito turned toward his daughter-in-law. "Ayeka, would you be so kind as to go to my car and bring me my sacred branch? It should be in the back seat."

"Right away," said Ayeka, bowing slightly, then dashing out the door.

When she returned with the branch, Katsuhito thanked her and held it high with both of his hands. Next, he closed his eyes and began to chant, while shaking the sacred branch alternately to the left, then to right.

This went on for about a minute. Ryoko materialized before him with an amused expression on her face.

"In the mood to dance, I see," she said. "Oddly enough, _so am I_!"

She snapped her fingers, and tango music filled the room. Looking him squarely in the eyes, she plucked the sacred branch from his hands and placed it between her teeth. Then she seized him in her arms and made him her unwilling dance partner.

While he moaned with a startled look on his face, Ryoko marched him up and down the room, occasionally dipping him almost down to floor. Ayeka and Kiyone could only watch in horror as the front door suddenly flew open, and Ryoko danced Katsuhito out through it into the front yard, where she tucked the sacred branch into his trousers, spun him around like a top, and finished by booting him into the air. He landed in an unconscious heap on the lawn, as the music came to a halt.

Ayeka and Kiyone rushed over to see if he was all right. Ryoko merely bowed to them and disappeared.

"This one's really gonna cost ya," he told Kiyone. Then he was out cold again.

vvv

"If a simple exorcism doesn't take, then it's time to bring out the big guns," explained Katsuhito back inside Ayeka's living room, where the trio were having some more green tea, while they planned their next strategy. "This will banish Ryoko for sure."

Katsuhito held up a piece of paper with complicated-looking _kanji_ written on it. "We will need to hold a seance in your house in order to entice her to possess one of you. Then all I need to do is slap this on the victim's head, and _poof_! She won't know what hit her."

"Hold on!" protested Kiyone. "You want one of us to just sit there and _allow_ Ryoko to take us over? That's insane! What if she doesn't leave? A piece of paper is a flimsy thing to gamble your life on, don'tcha think?"

"There really is nothing to worry about," said Katsuhito. "_This_ paper will blast Ryoko back to the spirit world, or I'll eat my hat."

"You don't wear hats," muttered Ayeka, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

"That's only because I don't have any left," admitted Katsuhito. "I may not be the best exorcist you'll ever meet, but I am a man of honor. If I say I'll do something, I'll do it. God, I hate the taste of hats..."

The ladies gave him a stare so cold, his own body temperature dropped five degrees.

"Just kidding!" he grinned, waving his hands.

vvv

It was midnight.

Sasami should have been in bed fast asleep, but she couldn't resist spying on what the grown-ups were doing downstairs. So she watched them from the darkness of the second floor.

They were seated around the living room table, which was illuminated by a single candle burning in the center of it. All the other lights were out. Sasami could see the faces of her mom and dad, Mr. and Mrs. Jurai, and an older man she had neverseen before. They all had their palms down on the table, fingers spread out, with thumbs touching, and pinky fingers touching the pinkies of the person seated next to them.

It was the older man who was speaking, and in a spooky voice, too.

"We are gathered in this house to call the spirit who is haunting it. We seek none other than the spirit of Ryoko Kobayashi. Come to us, Ryoko. You may choose one of us to speak through. We wish to talk to you."

The sound of distant thunder rumbled. The wind began to kick up outside.

Sasami could see Ryoko standing behind the old man, looking at all of them as if they were a bunch of idiots.

_They know as well as I do that if they want to talk to me, all they have to do is just **talk**, _thought Ryoko. _What's with all this occult mumbo-jumbo?_

"Come to us, Ryoko. Choose any one of us to be your vessel, so that we may converse with you."

_Choose a vessel, eh? _Ryoko chuckled evilly to herself. _You know, that's not a bad idea. I forgot that ghosts can do that. And it **has** been a very long time since I last had a vessel._

Ryoko floated around the table, examining the possible choices. _Hmm. Only two female bodies; the nosey nag or the smirky slut. Shame there's no third option. Okay, here I go..._

Ryoko slid into the body of her choice.

Ayeka began to moan softly and slowly move her head from side to side. Katsuhito focused his attention on her.

"Ryoko, is that you?"

"Ye-e-es," spoke Ayeka with an eerie softness. "I am Ryoko Kobayashi. Why have you summoned me from beyond the grave?"

Katsuhito seized the moment. He whipped out the paper and leaped over the table with a battle cry. Unfortunately, just as quickly, Ayeka blew out the candle, leaving everyone in pitch darkness.

For a few moments, confusion reigned. There was the sound of furniture overturning and a jumble of voices saying all kinds of things.

"Ow! You're standing on my foot!"

"Sorry!"

"I can't see a thing!"

"Somebody turn on the lights!"

"Where's the switch?"

And so on. By the time Tenchi found the switch and turned it on, the room was in obvious chaos.

Katsuhito looked at his bare hands, then looked down. Kiyone was lying on the floor, semiconscious, with a twitchy, goofy look on her face. And Katsuhito's paper was stuck to her forehead.

Ayeka stood nearby, head bowed down, with her hand to her temple.

"Ayeka, you okay?" asked Nobuyuki, moving to take her in his arms.

"Yes," she replied, pushing him away. "It's only a slight headache."

Tenchi tore the paper from his own wife's head and helped her up. "Kiyone! Speak to me!"

"Well, _that_ certainly went well," she said sarcastically, when she found her voice.

"Yes," mused Katsuhito, "it does appear that Ryoko has indeed been one step ahead of me the whole time. Now, I'm afraid your situation has gone from bad to worse."

"What does _that_ mean?" demanded Kiyone.

Ayeka yanked Tenchi away from her, embracing him in a tight hug.

"Whatta ya say we ditch these losers we're married to, and start a new life somewhere else, hmm, cutie pie?" she said into his ear.

Everyone's astonished looks turned from Ayeka back to Katsuhito.

"_That's _what it means," he answered.

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Chapter 3

Tenchi Muyo!: Witch World

Episode 3: The Unspeakable Demon

Excerpt from Sasami's Diary:

_Well, last night sure was a terrific mess. The grown-ups held a seance downstairs. Mom told me that the old man who came to visit is Mr. Jurai's father, and that he's an expert in getting ghosts to leave the houses they're haunting by sticking paper to their heads. Except now Ryoko is inside Mrs. Jurai, and she's not showing any sign of wanting to get out. Not from her body, and certainly not from this house. So I guess he's not such an expert, after all._

_Mom said Mr. Jurai's father tried to stick a piece of paper to Mrs. Jurai's head all night, but she was too quick and wouldn't let him. Even when Mr. Jurai offered to hold her still. When he tried, she must have hit him in a painful place, because he went home without her, all doubled over with tears rolling down his face. His father went with him, I guess. But Mrs. Jurai stayed. I could hear her banging on Mom and Dad's bedroom door until she got the idea they weren't going to let her in. Things got quiet after that._

Despite not sleeping very much, Tenchi still got up the next morning and got ready for work. As he came down the stairs, a surprisingly wonderful aroma greeted his nostrils.

"Mmm, something smells _good_," he said cheerfully, as he entered the kitchen.

But his smile quickly departed when he saw Kiyone and Ayeka were both in there already, trying to stare one another down like a couple of territorial alley cats.

"I said _I'm_ fixing breakfast for Tenchi today," said Ayeka through clenched teeth.

"And who decided _that_?" demanded Kiyone.

"I did. You want to make something of it?"

"Yes! This family doesn't eat eye of newt _or_ toe of frog!"

"Why you little --" Ayeka stopped herself from going any further with that thought when she noticed Tenchi standing there watching the two of them with his mouth agape, " -- precious darling you. Don't you know what an ugly stereotype that is? Some of the best cooks in the world have been witches. Especially the ones in my family."

"Oh? Did they use live bugs for seasoning, too?"

"Of course not," suddenly Ayeka was all smiles as she drifted over to Tenchi to take hold of his arm. "Whatever made you say such a thing?"

Ayeka led Tenchi to his usual place at the table, pulling his chair out for him. "Please sit down, Tenchi, and let a real woman show you what food is supposed to taste like."

"Uh..." was all he said as he obediently sat down.

"Tenchi!" snapped Kiyone. "We're not going to trust this woman! One bite of her food and you'll turn into a mouse, or something. I won't have it!"

"A mouse," mused Ayeka, giving Kiyone a very creepy look. "Imagine what a witch who can transform into a cat could do with one of those."

Tenchi nervously rose up from his seat. "You know, I am running a little late. I think I'll grab something along the way..."

"Good morning, everyone!" said Sasami, who had just arrived with her school backpack and was rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

Kiyone said, "Tenchi, take Sasami with you."

Tenchi nodded. "Are you gonna be..?"

Kiyone smiled. "I'll be fine. While I don't trust her concoctions, Katsuhito said she won't be able to do any hocus-pocus or anything ghostly as long as she has to concentrate on possessing Ayeka."

Tenchi frowned. "Yeah, well, I can't say I have a whole lot of faith in anything that guy says."

vvv

At the neighbor's house, Nobuyuki and his father were already having their own breakfast.

"Nobuyuki, I've been giving our problem some thought, and I, ah...ah...ah-CHOO!!"

"Gee, Dad, it sounds like you might be coming down with something."

"You may be right," said Katsuhito, wiping his nose with a napkin. "I haven't sneezed like that since after that Tokyo construction site job."

"I remember reading about that! That article made you the talk of the town. Although the reporter said those spirits really mopped up the floor with you."

"Well, you know what they say. Bad publicity is still publicity. But as I was saying, I've been giving our problem some thought. I fear I might have to bring my master in on this."

Nobuyuki's eyes widened. "The one who taught you everything you know? I had no idea she was still alive!"

vvv

Once Tenchi and Sasami were safely out of the house, Kiyone picked up the pot containing Ayeka's breakfast surprise, and dumped its contents into the garbage bin. Then she faced Ayeka.

"Look, I don't care what your beef is with me. But I won't stand for any of your nonsense when it comes to my family."

"You should have thought of that when I gave you your chance to leave," said Ayeka. "It's still not too late, you know. Just pack your bags and get out."

"Why should I? This is _my_ home, bought and paid for."

"It was mine long before you were born."

"I'm afraid those ownership rights expired when you did. Sorry, but that's just how it is."

"You know, there really was nothing wrong with the breakfast I prepared. It's been so long since I last had real taste buds, that I just couldn't resist trying some of your modern food. So I decided to repay you with some of my old-style cooking. Sure, I'll admit I did toy with the _idea_ of putting a little love potion in Tenchi's chow. But I didn't. So, not only do you trespass on my property in spite of my warning, you also deliberately insult the only friendly gesture I try to make to you. You're damn lucky I happen to like Sasami, because the only thing keeping me from doing something _really_ nasty to you is the image I get of her crying over what happened to her mommy. But just keep pushing me, and I might just reach a point where I stop caring about that."

Kiyone figured it was time to try another tack. "Ryoko, why _are_ you haunting this place, anyway? How come you never went to your happy hunting ground, or whatever you call it, like all the other spirits?"

Ayeka's features hardened. "Because I _can't_, okay? Don't you think I would have moved on, if I could? I'm different, so let's leave it at that."

"Then why fight the exorcist, instead of letting him help you?"

"_Help_ me? All he really wants to do is bump me off for a price! He's nothing more than a spiritual hitman. And you hired him to do it. Well, you know what? Two can play at that little game."

"Look," said Kiyone. "I'm a writer by profession. I know a lot of good people who do reference work for me. I'm sure if I asked them, they could hunt up anything that was ever written about ghosts in your situation. Once we figure out what's holding you to this place..."

"Save it, sister," grinned Ayeka. "I've got a body now. So nothing is holding me here."

As if to illustrate the point, Ayeka went over to the front door, opened it, and slammed it shut after herself.

vvv

Nobuyuki happened to push a curtain aside to take a peek at what was going on next door..

"Dad! It's Ayeka!. She's leaving the house. Do you suppose that the ghost released her?"

"Hmm," grunted Katsuhito noncommittally. He was far more interested in the soap opera he was currently watching on the TV. "Then maybe you should go to her and find out."

"Right," nodded Nobuyuki, quickly dashing outside. He even forgot to close the door behind himself.

Katsuhito picked up the TV remote and punched up the volume a little more.

"Popoko, oh, Popoko..." said the TV.

vvv

"Ayeka!" cried Nobuyuki, running towards her. "Are you all right, now?"

"Get in the car and start it up," was all she said to him.

"Uh, okay. But what for?"

"We're going shopping. I need some special items."

vvv

Later that afternoon, after school let out, Sasami happily walked with her friend Misao until they had to part ways to each continue on to their own individual homes.

"See ya tomorrow!" Sasami waved to her friend, enthusiastically, until she was out of sight.

As Sasami approached home, she could see Ayeka moving around on the front lawn.

_What's she doing in our front yard? _she wondered.

When she was close enough to see, Sasami marveled at the neighbor woman's antics.

Ayeka had some strange-looking odds and ends scattered all around her. At the moment,

she was pushing a gadget that was making white powder lines all over the yard.

Now at the edge of the lawn, herself, Sasami could see that those lines formed a giant five-pointed

star.

"Watcha doin'?" asked Sasami.

"What's it _look_ like I'm doing?" said Ayeka. "I'm drawing a pentagram."

"What for?"

"For conjuring demons, what else?"

Sasami was awed. "Wow! Can I help?"

That surprised Ayeka. But she recovered quickly. "Sure. Why not?"

"But I can only help you for a little while 'cause I've got a lot of homework to do."

"Fine. There's a bunch of candles in that bag by the tree, and a pile of candle holders next to that. Take each candle, put it in a holder, and put each holder at each of the different points of the pentagram. Got it?'

"Got it," Sasami immediately got to work.

vvv

"I'm home!" announced Sasami later, reclosing the front door once she was inside.

"You're a little late, Sasami," said Kiyone, preoccupied with her computer. "Where have you been?"

"I was helping Mrs. Jurai and Ryoko with their pentagram."

"Oh. That's nice. Got any homework?"

"Yes," sighed Sasami.

"Then hop to it."

Kiyone continued to compose her tome after her daughter went upstairs.

Some more time went by, then her husband came home from work.

"I, uh, just had the strangest talk with Ayeka, just now," said Tenchi, hanging his coat in the closet..

"Oh?" said Kiyone, still focusing on her monitor. "Is she still possessed by Ryoko?"

"Yeah, it seems like it."

"So what did she say to you?"

"Well, she's got this weird-looking thingamajig set up in front of the house. She says that at sunset, she's going to summon an unspeakable demon that is going to exorcise us from the house."

"What?" Kiyone said that more incredulously than out of any concern. "_She_ is going to exorcise _us_? What a laugh. Ghosts do not exorcise people."

Tenchi shrugged. "She seemed pretty serious to me. Said she was gonna show us how it's done."

Kiyone saved her file with a sigh and got up. "Well, we might as well have our dinner now, so we can enjoy the show later."

vvv

By the time the sun had set, the Masaki family had eaten well, and had brought their chairs outside so that they could sit comfortably in order to witness the summoning. The Jurai men also came over, bringing with them some _sake_ to drink while they waited for it to start.

Ayeka lit the candles at all five points,.then took her place next to a podium with a microphone. She was now wearing a gaudy robe with a pattern of crescent moons and stars all over it. She addressed the pentagram with both arms up in the air, and in her right hand she held a dagger. The wind kicked up as she spoke.

"I call upon the dark forces of the universe to hear my plea!" she began. "Bring forth the one whose name dare not be spoken aloud! The one who has caused mountains to crumble to dust, and rivers to run red with blood! The despicable creature from the disgusting depths of slime who shows no mercy to enemies! The foul monster whose might stops armies of giants dead in their tracks! Whose very breath can poison a herd of elephants! The grotesque beast whose hideousness not only stops clocks, but also convinces speeding freight trains to take dirt roads! Come with your insatiable hunger for human flesh! And your unquenchable thirst for human blood! Come to me and aid me in smiting these intruders**!**"

Next, she stepped down from the podium to enter the pentagram. She cut open her left palm with the dagger and let the blood drip onto the grass.

At the sound of thunder rumbling overhead, she quickly retreated behind the podium. Her laughter actually sounded like a witch's cackling.

"Boy," noted Tenchi, "she really _is_ full of rage."

"Told ya," said Katsuhito.

A bolt of lightning crashed into the heart of the pentagram. Soon, the ground began to undulate, as if giant earthworms were struggling for dominance underneath it. Then a multitude of flaming tentacles burst through to the surface, swaying to an unholy dance. The tentacles tossed something small straight up into the air before they pulled themselves back into the ground, which resealed itself nicely back into a normal unbroken lawn, none the worse for wear.

The small object came back down to lightly plop onto Sasami's lap.

"_Mi-ya?_" it asked her.

"Wow!" said Sasami. "Ryoko's demon is _so cute_!"

"Miyaaa!" agreed the little furry demon.

Ayeka was so stunned by this development, she fell over.

Ryoko's spirit rose up from Ayeka's body, turning to look at her in disgust. "I mighta known your blood would do something like that. Thanks for nothing, princess."

While Ryoko floated back into the house, Nobuyuki and Katsuhito rushed over to Ayeka to help her to her feet. When her eyes were clearly able to see Katsuhito's face, she suddenly punched him in it with her good hand..

"That's the _last_ time I go along with one of _your_ bright ideas!" she yelled at him.

vvv

As the multicolored curtain descends down to the stage, the guardians take their places to the left and right of it.

Azaka: "Hi, there! Remember us?"

Kamidake: "We're here to give you a friendly reminder."

Azaka: "That's right! The last time we spoke to you, we told you to enjoy the show."

Kamidake: "And that you wouldn't have to pay us until it was over."

Azaka: "Well, that show has been over for quite some time."

Kamidake: "And, well, how shall we put this delicately?"

Azaka: "We still have not received any payment from you."

Kamidake: "Now, maybe you think we somehow get money from your cable bill, or video rental or purchase. That is simply not the case."

Azaka: "Or maybe you thought we weren't being serious. Nothing could be further from the truth."

Kamidake: "We don't look kindly on deadbeats."

Azaka: "So make that check out to 'Tenchi Universe' and send it to us via transdimensional post."

Kamidake: "Do it right now, before you forget."

Azaka: "Otherwise, we'll have to come to _your _dimension. And that could get messy."

The guardians take a bow.

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. Chapter 4

Tenchi Muyo!: Witch World

Episode 4: The Journalist

"No way!" exclaimed Washu.

She thought that the job of setting everything straight -- after everyone else managed to confuse the dickens out of her beautiful invention -- was going to be child's play. And at first, it was.

But now, every time she pressed a key to eliminate one alternate world, another one would light up elsewhere, indicating that yet another crazy world had suddenly sprung into existence. Sometimes two, or even three. She had to face it. She was losing ground in this battle.

"At this rate, I'll be here forever!" she cried, scratching her head with both hands. "Aargh! Those girls sure did a number on you, you poor thing!"

"A" hopped up on Washu's right shoulder. "Don't give up, Washu!"

"You can do it, Washu!" added "B" on her left.

That sufficiently renewed her spirits.

"Of course I can! There's no problem I can't fix!" she told them. "So what if life hands you lemons? Whadda ya do? Make lemonade, that's what! The answer's been staring me in the face all along! Why am I knocking myself out trying to do this all by myself? Logically, there's bound to be other versions of me doing the same thing in _plenty_ of other universes! All I have to do is find them and co-ordinate with them so that we're not all doing redundant work. If a _team_ of Washus can't straighten out the multiverse, then no one can! I AM SUCH A GENIUS!"

vvv

It was a good thing the weekend was here.

The Masakis were outside, first thing in the morning, to clean up their front lawn. The Jurai family, feeling somewhat responsible, came over from next door to help.

But the real cause of the mess outside, Ryoko, the ghost of the house, was in the living room, completely mindless of the work that she had caused for all of them, and feeling no guilt about it, either.

Instead, she was giving a stern look to the furry little demon she had conjured up the previous evening. It looked like some kind of impossible cross between a cat and a rabbit, and was every bit as threatening as a teddy bear.

The happy little critter was busy grooming herself with her tongue, while playfully rolling around on the couch.

"Some demon you are," said Ryoko. "How did the underworld ever come up with something like you, anyway?"

"Mi-ya?" asked the creature, looking at her quizzically.

Ryoko could hear the others coming back from outside, so she figured now would be a good time to disappear, and did so.

"Whew!" said Tenchi, entering the front doorway. "Glad that's finished. Now we've got the rest of the weekend to ourselves!"

"Well, not exactly to ourselves," amended Kiyone, right behind him. She nodded in the direction of the couch with the demon on it. "We've got a new houseguest to deal with."

Tenchi, picked up the little critter and spoke directly to it in a friendly manner. "Yeah, I suppose we're going to have to figure out what to do with you."

"Can we keep her?" asked Sasami, just now coming in, as well.

vvv

"Look at all this occult junk!" cried Ayeka, in the living room of the Jurai house with her left hand in a bandage. "It cost a pretty penny, and I'll bet most of it is non-returnable!"

"Well, if you don't want it, I'll take it off your hands," said Katsuhito. "In my line of work, one never knows when stuff like this might come in handy."

"I'll show you a hand," she said, wagging her left in his face. "And to think, after all that, those people are no better off than before. Maybe even worse. And I recommended you to them. I'm so embarrassed now, I can hardly look them in the face."

"You're right," said Katsuhito. "This job is indeed beyond my scope. That is why I placed a call to my master, Washu Hakubi. It was at her knee that I learned my trade. She is world-renowned as the best in this field."

vvv

"I don't know, Sasami," said Tenchi. "She _looks_ harmless, but don't forget how Ryoko brought her here, with that big scary ceremony and all."

"Well, Ryoko never said she wanted to hurt us, only scare us away," said Sasami. "I think that whole thing with the pentagram was just another way she was trying to do that. She wanted to show us that she could have sent a big scary monster after us, but at the last minute, she just couldn't do it."

Ryoko, meanwhile, was listening in from the second floor.

_That sweet kid, _she thought. _Listen to her sticking up for me like that. That's a first, all right. Nobody ever accused me of being a big ol' softee before. What if she's right, though? Could it be? The demon-summoning really flopped because...because I actually **like** these people?_

That was a thought Ryoko knew she never had for any of the previous interlopers in her house. But she had to admit, there was something special about these three. Sasami was a good kid, not at all like those brats that other people brought with them when they moved into this house. None of them would have helped her with setting up the pentagram, that was certain.

And then there was Tenchi. Ryoko liked something about him, but she couldn't put her ectoplasmic finger on what it was about him, exactly.

And what about Kiyone? Well, Ryoko decided it was time to give her a break. She was Tenchi's wife, and Sasami's mother, so that gave her a measure of immunity from anything terrible Ryoko might have pulled on anybody else. And Kiyone did seem sincere in her offer to help find out what was keeping her chained to this house.

_All in all, _thought Ryoko, _when it comes to housemates, I could have done a lot worse, couldn't I? And it is a big, empty, lonely house, when there's nobody but me in it. Aw, what the heck..._

When Ryoko materialized back into the living room, she saw that the cute little demon was still the center of the little family's attention. All three of them were playing with it and telling it how cute it was.

"Ryoko," said Kiyone, as she noticed that the ghost was visible among them. "Your little friend here looks like she might be hungry. Any ideas about what she might like to eat?"

"I'm guessing you haven't tried giving her any human flesh or blood or anything like that?" asked Ryoko.

Kiyone gave her a withering look.

"I didn't think so," said Ryoko. "Well, that's the monster _I _ordered, anyway. Obviously, that's not what got delivered, so I have no idea what she likes."

"Well," said Tenchi, "I've got this funny feeling that she might enjoy a carrot. She does kind of look like a rabbit."

Tenchi went into the kitchen and came back with a big bright orange carrot, which he placed in front of the little visitor. The critter sniffed at it, gave it an experimental lick, then took a little bite.

"_Blechh_!" the demon spat the piece out, making a very distasteful looking face.

"Don't like carrots, huh?" observed Tenchi. "That's funny. I thought sure that..."

"She kinda looks like a cat, too," said Sasami. "So maybe she likes cat food."

"But we don't have any..." began Tenchi. "Wait a second."

He went back into the kitchen, but this time returned with an opened can of tuna, which he put before the demon. This time the little beast dived in with relish, not only devouring the entire contents, but also licking the can completely clean.

"My," said Kiyone. "You really were hungry, weren't you?"

"Miyaaa!" agreed the demon, going back to grooming herself.

While Tenchi and Sasami continued to play with their new pet, Kiyone moved over next to Ryoko.

"Ryoko, I want to apologize for trying to have you exorcised. I understand now that it was wrong. Can you forgive me?"

"We-e-l-l," answered Ryoko. "Seeing's how it was your first offense, and all, I think I can let it slide, just this once. And I'll quit trying to get rid of you, too. After all, there's plenty of room in this big ol' house for all of us. No reason we can't stay out of each other's hair, right?"

Kiyone smiled in gratitude. "Thank you, Ryoko. My offer still stands, you know. If you want my researchers to find an answer for you..."

Just then, the doorbell rang.

"Sasami, could you get that?" asked Kiyone, looking at her daughter for an instant.

As Sasami ran to the door, Kiyone turned her attention back to Ryoko -- who now was no longer there.

"Auntie Mihoshi!" cried Sasami at the open door.

"Hi, Sasami!" said a woman's voice from outside. "Wow! I'm so glad I found your new place. I was afraid this might not be it, and that I might have to keep looking."

"Mihoshi?" repeated Kiyone.

Kiyone went over to the door, herself. Sure enough, the blonde woman on her doorstep was indeed her sister.

"Oh, hi, Kiyone!" smiled Mihoshi. "I was just telling Sasami here how afraid I was that this might not be the right house and how I might've had to keep looking for which one it might be and..."

As Mihoshi spoke, it was obvious that she was trying her best to maintain a cheerful face, but Kiyone also noticed that her sister's eyes were filling up with tears. That meant that the dam was about to burst before she was through speaking. And it did.

"OH, KIYONE!" Mihoshi threw herself on to her sister and began sobbing on her shoulder.

"Take it easy!" said Kiyone. "Here. Come over to the couch and sit down. Tell me all about it."

Mihoshi sat down and composed herself. Sasami brought her a box of tissues, of which she readily made use by blowing her nose. "Thank you, Sasami. Sorry to show up like this, but I didn't know where else to turn."

"Don't be silly, Mihoshi," said Tenchi. "We're family. If there's anything we can do to help, you know all you have to do is ask."

Mihoshi brightened. "Really?"

"Absolutely," said Tenchi.

Tenchi didn't notice the eyebrow signals Kiyone was trying to send him, which quite plainly stated _Shut up, Tenchi, and let me handle this._

"Then it's all right if I move in with you for a little while? Until I can get my life back in order?"

"Of course!" said Tenchi. "Stay as long as you need; we've got plenty of rooms here. Right, Kiyone?"

Kiyone's eyebrows knew when to give up. "Uh, that's right. So, tell us what's wrong."

Mihoshi sighed, and began absently scratching the demon behind her ears (which the demon seemed to enjoy a lot). "Things haven't been going well for me, lately. First, my boyfriend and I broke up. Then I got fired from my job, and...say, this is quite an unusual, um, pet, you have here. I don't think I've ever seen a breed like this."

"Miya," said the demon.

"Yeah," Kiyone laughed nervously, "we only got her last night. Tenchi and I were just talking about what a rare one it is, too. So, go on. You say they fired you from the newspaper?"

"Yes," continued Mihoshi sadly. "Mr. Negishi said I hadn't written anything worth reading about since my article on that priest that got beaten up by those poltergeists at that construction site, so he had to let me go. So I haven't been able to get other work, and now I'm losing my apartment because I can't pay the rent."

"Poor Auntie Mihoshi!" sympathized Sasami.

"Well, the three of us can help you bring your stuff here, no problem," said Tenchi.

Kiyone saw there was no fighting this. She was outvoted three to one before even getting a chance to vote.

"Could you help me with that, like, right now?" asked Mihoshi. "Because as we speak, the apartment manager is putting my stuff out on the sidewalk."

Kiyone threw her hands up and looked heavenward. But she nodded her agreement all the same.

"Oh, THANK you, everyone!" cried Mihoshi. "Just one more thing. Could you show me where your bathroom is? I need to powder my nose."

"Sure!" said Sasami, taking her aunt's hand. "Right this way!"

When Tenchi and Kiyone were alone. Kiyone turned to her husband.

"Well, I hope you two are satisfied," she told him. "You have _no_ idea what Mihoshi is like to live with."

"But she's your sister," protested Tenchi. "We can't just turn our backs on her."

Kiyone sighed. "Not to mention that she's also going to be looking for that big scoop that she hopes will get her her job back. And what do we have here? A witch's ghost and a demon from the pit. If you think life has been crazy since we moved in, wait till we start getting tourists around the house. _That's_ gonna be a laugh and a half."

vvv

Ryoko watched from her second floor vantage point as the cars belonging to Tenchi and Mihoshi drove off.

"I certainly didn't expect another gate-crasher to suddenly join the mix," she said aloud.

"Not to worry," said a silky female voice behind her. "Once my powers are fully realized, those mortals will all become just an unpleasant memory."

"Huh?" when Ryoko turned around to see the source of the strange new voice, all she saw was the cute little demon seated on the floor, looking up at her. "Was that _you_?"

"Who else?" smiled the demon. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Ryo-Ohki, and while I may not be much to look at now, very soon that will change. I must apologize for not speaking to you earlier. I was still in my early stages, and quite unable. But, rest assured, I am growing. And when I have reached my potential, I will fulfill the purpose for which you have summoned me, and devour your enemies. I promise to eat them very slowly, so that you, too, can relish their agonizing deaths."

"Oh, boy," said Ryoko. "Uh, listen. About that. There's been a slight change in plan..."

"No changes, substitutions, or refunds," said Ryo-Ohki. "And I hope that you knew that the price of this service is one immortal soul -- _yours_. I'll be taking you back with me into the pit when this is all over. Let me tell you, you are going to love it there. Nothing but our kind of folk as far as the eye can see. All suffering eternal damnation as exquisitely as they possibly can."

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED


	5. Chapter 5

Rivers of magma and fire burning in puddles here and there provided enough light to see by.

Ryoko was nude and lost inside this labyrinth of hot stinking caverns.

Here, she had flesh, because flesh lended itself so well to torment. This was her reward for all the evil she had perpetrated in her time on Earth.

This was the first day of her eternity.

She continued to aimlessly wander through this depressing landscape, generally heading in the direction of the distant sounds of screams crying out in agony. At least there she could find some company.

Her journey came to an abrupt stop, when someone stepped out from the shadows of a craggy wall ahead to block her path.

It looked like a nude Ayeka, except her skin was entirely red, and she had horns on her head and a long pointed tail. She held a formidable looking pitchfork in her hands. And she had the most evil grin on her face.

"You?" exclaimed Ryoko. "_You're_ the devil?"

"Oh, come on," snarled Ayeka. "You really can't tell me that you didn't suspect that all along."

With that, Ayeka skewered Ryoko through the abdomen, lifting her high off her feet.

Laughing (as only Ayeka can laugh), she carried the squirming Ryoko over to the nearest pit of high flames, and began to barbecue her.

That's when the alarm clock went off in Ayeka's and Nobuyuki's bedroom.

Ayeka slapped it back into silence, yawning and sitting up.

"Damn," she grumbled. "I never get to finish the good ones."

Tenchi Muyo!: Witch World

Episode 5: The Master

Downstairs, after the Jurai family finished breakfast, they relaxed in the living room, with the men reading different sections of the Sunday paper, and Ayeka worked on a jigsaw puzzle.

Presently, there came a knock on the door. Ayeka got up to answer it.

"Kiyone," said Ayeka. "How are you, today?"

Kiyone stepped past her into the living room. "This is no time for small talk. There's an emergency going on at my place. I need your help."

"What kind of emergency, Kiyone?" asked Ayeka.

"First of all, I'm Ryoko. I'm just borrowing Kiyone's body, so that I could leave the premisis."

"Well," grinned Ayeka, "if that's the case, you won't find any sympathetic ears around here. So you might as well turn around and go home."

"_Grrr_, listen to me! I'm not asking for myself! I'm asking you to help the Masakis. If you don't, they're all going to die in the most horrible way you can imagine. Is that what you want?"

Nobuyuki and Katsuhito dropped what they were reading.

Ayeka got serious. "What the devil are you talking about?"

"That demon I conjured up, you ninny! It talks. And it told me it intends to devour them as soon as it gets big and powerful enough to do it. And to tell you the truth, I'm not exactly sure what that means. It could be nibbling on Sasami right now, for all we know. That's why we can't waste any time."

"_We?_" demanded Ayeka. "_You_ summoned that creature! If it bothers you as much as you pretend, why don't you just send it back to wherever it came from?"

"Would I be over here begging you if I _could_? This is going to take the work of somebody who can banish demons, and that's more your line," said Kiyone, pointing to Katsuhito.

"If what you say is true," said Katsuhito, "there's probably little that I can do to stop it. You are more powerful than I am. And this demon seems even more powerful than you."

"Then you must know somebody in the business who _can_ do it, don't you?" asked Kiyone.

"As a matter of fact, he does," said a newcomer with lots of red hair, standing in the open doorway.

vvv

Back at the Masaki house, Tenchi was watching TV, while Sasami was playing with the demon on the floor.

"Is it my imagination, Sasami, or does she look bigger today than she was yesterday?" asked Tenchi.

"I think so, too," answered Sasami. "Well, if she's growing, I wonder how big she'll get?"

_You'll find out soon enough, my tasty little Sasami, _thought Ryo-Ohki, licking her chops. _Right now, just keep on playing with me and working up my appetite._

"Good morning, everyone!" greeted Mihoshi, coming down the stairs dressed in a bathrobe, while drying her hair with a towel.

Sasami and Tenchi greeted her in kind. The demon simply made her usual noise.

"Where's Kiyone?" asked Mihoshi, once she joined the group.

"She went next door to visit Ayeka," answered Tenchi. "Ready for breakfast?"

"That would be great," smiled Mihoshi. "I can't thank you enough for letting me stay here. I imagine Kiyone was probably less than thrilled by the idea, though."

"Why would you say that?" asked Tenchi.

"We may be sisters, but we're as different as can be. I always knew Kiyone was prettier than me, and smarter than me, and nowhere near the klutz that I am. And that's why I always looked up to her when we were growing up. I'm afraid that from her point of view, though, I've always embarrassed her. Little sisters can be annoying at the best of times, and I've managed to outdo them all. I guess I just wasn't cut out to be a success, like she is."

"Sure you are!" encouraged Tenchi. "Everyone has their own gifts. All you have to do is discover what they are and sharpen them. You just need a little time to kick back, relax, and take a fresh look at yourself. You'll find what your special talent is in no time, just like I did. Now, what can I fix for you to eat?"

"You are so sweet," said Mihoshi. "Got any pancakes?"

"Comin' right up."

"Great! I'll just go back upstairs and get into some clothes. Um, say, is it just me, or has your pet grown a bit since last night?"

vvv

"Master Washu!" cried Katsuhito, leaping to his feet and bowing very deeply and very respectfully to the newcomer. "Everyone, may I present the world's best exorcist and demon fighter extraordinaire, and my master -- Washu Hakubi!"

Nobuyuki cut through the crowd to grasp Washu's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you. My Dad told me so many stories about you. You know, frankly, I'd've never thought that you'd still be around. Or if you were, you'd be ancient. But you're so cute I'm tempted to make a move on you!"

Ayeka rolled her eyes heavenward. "You should be so lucky."

Washu pushed his hand away. "Down, boy. I can see you're a married man."

Kiyone was shooting daggers with her eyes at Washu. Something Washu couldn't help but notice.

"And who have we here?" asked Washu. "If looks could kill, dearie, I'd be pushing up daisies, right now."

"Calling yourself 'Hakubi' now, are you?" grumbled Kiyone. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"

Washu's eyebrow went up. She inspected Kiyone's eyes a little closer.

"Ryoko? Are you in there?"

"Yes, mother! It's me! And if I didn't need you so badly, I'd beat the living daylights out of you for everything you put me through!"

"All right, all right. Pipe down. We'll have lots of time to rehash this later. Katsuhito, why don't you fill me in on what been goin' on?"

"Master? Is it true? You are Ryoko's mother?"

Washu shrugged and nodded. "Somebody had to be, I'm afraid."

"But then, that would make you..."

"A witch, too? Naturally. Can you think of anyone more suited to this business? You mortals will never know how many of us are among you, and lemme tell ya, it's a good thing, too. You people are too afraid of things that you just don't understand."

"I was going to say 'much older than even I originally suspected'. But in any case, here's the lowdown..."

vvv

When Kiyone returned to the Masaki house, she announced that she had brought presents for everyone from Mrs. Jurai.

The demon looked like it was taking a little snooze on the couch.

Kiyone, who already wore a necklace with a strange pendant dangling from it -- which no one in the house ever remembered seeing her wear before -- went over to Sasami and hung a similar one around her neck.

"Mrs. Jurai will soon be here. Please don't offend her by taking it off."

"I won't," promised Sasami, looking over this odd bit of jewelry.

Next, Kiyone went over to Tenchi and placed one around his neck.

"Oh, for Pete's sake!" he protested. "I'm a guy! Certainly she doesn't expect me to --"

Kiyone gave him a very serious look, while trodding on his toe.

"Just don't take it off, whatever you do," she whispered into his ear. Then she kissed him on the cheek.

Tenchi got the message and hushed up. But one of the demon's ears perked up.

When Ryo-Ohki saw Kiyone hanging another one around the pancake-munching Mihoshi's neck,and giving her the same advice, she knew that something was afoot.

That was confirmed when Washu stepped into the living room from outside and announced, "Okay, I see that everyone here is all set. And I've finished securing the house, too."

"_Washu!_" hissed Ryo-Ohki, her fur standing on end.

"How flattering that you've heard of me in the underworld," said Washu. "Of course, _that's_ really no surprise, given how many times I've inconvenienced you guys in the past. You must be Ryo-Ohki, I presume."

"You're reputation does indeed precede you," replied Ryo-Ohki, much more calmly now. "That's why I am surprised that this is the best you could do to thwart me. Those talismans you gave everyone may protect them from me for a little while, but sooner or later, one will come off and I will know about it. That's when I'll be back here to strike."

"Cancel your plans, shortie. You won't be going anywhere. I've placed a barrier around the house. No one's going in OR out. You're stuck in here along with the rest of us."

Ryo-Ohki laughed. "A spirit ward? All around the house? You're a poor liar, Washu. I know the one place that isn't barricaded at all -- _because you just stepped through it, yourself!"_

Ryo-Ohki suddenly shot past Washu, and out through the open front door. Everyone gasped.

"Well," said Washu, "I gotta admit, you've got me there."

"Mother!" snapped Kiyone. "How the heck can you be so calm?"

"Take it easy," smiled Washu. "The reason why I didn't barricade the front door is so I could put an evil filter there, instead."

Kiyone's expression suddenly became dumbfounded. "Okay...so what's an 'evil filter'?"

"Exactly what it says. It screens all of the evil from anything that passes through it. Leaves one pure and spiritually clean. I'll bet it came as an intense shock to Ryo-Ohki the moment she smashed into it."

Outside, everyone found Ryo-Ohki flat on her back, mouth agape, with her eyes spiraling round and round.

"Of course," continued Washu, "that doesn't mean that evil won't be able to reclaim her again. Luckily, I came prepared for that, too!"

She produced a small red jewel, which she pressed onto Ryo-Ohki's forehead. A bit of light erupted from it as it sealed itself there.

"There now!" cried Washu. "That's a permanent part of you, now. Evil will never be able to touch it, hence, evil will never be able to touch you, either."

"Ohhh, where am I?" said Ryo-Ohki, groggily. "For that matter, who am I?"

"You're name's Ryo-Ohki," answered Washu. "It's just a touch of amnesia, nothing to worry about. All the important things will come back to you in time."

"Amnesia," repeated Ryo-Ohki. "I think I've forgotten what that means."

"So it must not be important," said Washu. "See how it works?"

Sasami ran over to Ryo-Ohki and scooped her up. "Ryo-Ohki! I didn't even know you could talk!"

Washu left the two of them to speak to Kiyone. "It's safe to come out now, you know. The demon you made your deal with no longer exists."

Ryoko floated out of Kiyone's body.

"Woah!" said Kiyone, putting a hand to her head. "Now I know how Ayeka felt."

"That may be so, mother dear, but you still have a lot of explaining to do. I'm sure I'm still destined for the pit, and I can safely say that's due to the way you raised me." Ryoko folded her ghostly arms and looked at Washu with scorn.

Washu turned her attention to Mihoshi, who was standing over by the door, holding her plate of pancakes. "Say, those look good! You got any more? I'm starved!"

As she walked past her ghostly daughter, she winked and said, "Oh, I don't know about that. You passed through the evil filter without any ill effects, didn't you?"

"Huh?" said Ryoko, wide-eyed, as everyone filed past Mihoshi, back inside the house.

Mihoshi watched Ryoko fade away to nothingness.

_I don't know what the heck is going on here, _she thought, with a piece of pancake hanging from her mouth, _But I smell a story big enough to get me my job back!_

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED


	6. Chapter 6

Tenchi Muyo!: Witch World

Episode 6: Body and Soul

Kiyone was only too happy to fix a stack of pancakes for Washu after the close call her family had just had.

As Washu poured syrup on them, she said, "I'll bet you're all wondering about the full story behind how Ryoko's spirit got stuck here for so long. Especially _you_, eh, Ryoko?"

Ryoko materialized among them, giving her mother the sourest look her ghostly face could present. "Gee. Whatever gave you _that _idea?"

"The whole thing is your own darn fault, you know," said Washu, putting the syrup bottle back down on the table and grabbing her fork. "Most of us witches have enough common sense not to go stirring up the mortals against us. We've got plenty of better things to do with our time, you see. But you wouldn't listen to your older and wiser mother, would you?"

"So what's wrong with wanting to have a little fun?" insisted Ryoko. "You taught me all those spells and just expected me to use them to benefit a bunch of greedy, unappreciative short-lifes?"

"No offense," she said to the humans in the room.

Tenchi laughed nervously, waving the comment off.

"But we are not their personal genies, you know," Ryoko continued. "_You_ may have been content to cure their illnesses, and fix all their problems, but look at what it got you. More illnesses and problems. They just kept coming back to you and _expecting_ you to help them. Most of them didn't even concern themselves with paying you back in any way. Well, excuse me for realizing that I was more powerful than them -- and I didn't have to stand for being their doormat."

Ryoko began angrily pacing back and forth. "I mean, the nerve that humans have is _unbelievable_! You try to be nice to them, and it's never enough! And when you finally do draw the line, and say _that's it, no more_, they have the audacity to get _pissed_ at you! Now I ask you, how smart is it to get pissed at somebody who has done you more favors than you care to admit, AND has the power to curse you or even kill you?"

Washu swallowed another mouthful of pancake while waiting for Ryoko to finish ranting.

"So with that as your justification," said Washu, "you decided to go on your little rampage, hmm? Did it ever occur to you that there are good and bad people in every race? Including ours? I gotta tell ya, Ryoko, what you did didn't exactly reflect too well on the rest of us. Witchly public relations for this area went into the toilet for centuries, thanks in large part to you. And when the humans hanged you, their popularity with us hit an all time low, too. Amazing how much damage one immature witch can bring to the whole community."

"And you _let_ them hang me!" Ryoko pointed an accusing finger at Washu. "My own powers were neutralized, and you knew it. I couldn't save myself. Do you have any idea what it's like to helplessly suffocate with a broken neck?"

"It gave me nightmares for decades, Ryoko," said Washu, quietly. "No mother wants to see anything like that for her own child. But I was forbidden to interfere. The humans needed to see you die for your crimes. And so they did. At the time, the best I could manage to do in order not to lose you forever was to curse your spirit to haunt this house. It wasn't an easy decision, believe me, but it was the only thing I could think of to do until I could come up with something better."

"I might've _known_ that you'd be behind that, too," growled Ryoko. "If you're excuse for doing that to me is because you cared, then you're full of it. I only wish I could force _you_ to haunt a house for a few centuries, just to see how you'd like it. In all that time, you never once bothered to even pay me a visit."

"You needed some alone time," shrugged Washu. "I figured with no one else distracting you, except for the occasional family trying to move in here, now and then, you'd have plenty of time to think about the things you've done, and -- maybe -- adjust that rash attitude of yours. Instead, what do I find? You're making deals with demons without even thinking through the consequences of your actions. I didn't save your soul back then only for you to just throw it away over something stupid like that."

Ryoko blinked. "So what did you save my soul for?"

Washu finished her pancakes and dabbed the corners of her mouth. "Delicious, Kiyone! Thanks!"

"My pleasure," smiled Kiyone.

Washu rose from the table to address Ryoko. "Your mother's been sharpening her witchly skills in the time that she's been away! What would you say if I told you that I could get you your old body back?"

"I'd say you were hitting the ol' witch's brew, again," grumbled Ryoko. "Even _we_ don't have the ability to bring back the dead. At least not in the same form they were in before they died."

"In your case, that's immaterial. I don't have to bring you back since you are already here. Body AND soul."

Washu snapped her fingers and a secret panel opened up inside one of the closets upstairs. A small urn floated out of it, which proceeded to float out of the room, down the hall, and then down the stairs to land on Washu's waiting palm.

"These are your ashes, Ryoko," she explained. "I hid them here a long time ago to keep your spirit from wandering off before I could return."

"That's what's left of my body?" asked Ryoko. "So what good is _that_ going to do me?"

"I've perfected a new spell I call 'Time Reversal'," said Washu. "I've successfully applied it to small specific objects, to push them outside the normal flow of our time stream into another time stream that happens to be flowing in the opposite direction. The result is instant reverse aging, at double the speed of normal time. If I apply it to your ashes, they should start un-cremating in a few decades..."

Ryoko slammed her ghostly fist on Washu's head. "So you're saying I have to wait around for about half the time since I've been a ghost before my body even _starts_ to reform?"

Washu rubbed her head where Ryoko hit it. "Oww! You didn't gimme a chance to finish what I was saying! I was gonna add that I could then apply a rapid aging spell on top of that to speed up the process. It's worked before. So, whadda ya say, Ryoko? Want me to give it a whirl?"

Ryoko didn't even need to think about it. "Sure, why not? What've I got to lose? My urn?"

"That's the spirit. Okay...let's begin!"

Washu closed her eyes and allowed the urn to hover to the center of the room. She made some grandiose gestures with her arms, while uttering some magic words. The urn began to glow. Then it burst into a million fragments, all falling to the floor. But the dust inside still hung in the air. It began to swirl and sparkle.

A wind came blowing in from the open front door, carrying with it the tiny bits of Ryoko's body that had been scattered all over the earth a long time ago. These bits joined the swirling, sparkling mass, as it started to form a skeleton, then internal organs, then, finally, the external layers of skin.

Kiyone noticed that Tenchi's nose was bleeding from the sight of Ryoko's nude body, so she covered his eyes.

Clothing started to form around the body. When it did, the transformation seemed complete. Except for...

"Why is her head all flopped over, and her tongue sticking out?" asked Sasami.

"Her neck's broken," explained Washu. "She _was_ hanged before being cremated, you know."

"You expect me to move into that and spend the rest of my life walking around that way?" yelled Ryoko. "Fix it!"

"Hey, I'm a witch, not a doctor."

"Take it back a little more in time!" demanded Ryoko.

"All right, all right, don't get your ectoplasm in a bunch, I was only kidding. Here we go!"

Washu made a few more magical gestures. Within moments, the neck straightened out and the tongue retracted. The eyes still had a blank, unblinking look to them, though.

Everyone watched silently as Ryoko's spirit moved slowly around the body, looking at it like she could not believe it was really there. Actually, she looked like she was about to cry.

"Something wrong, Ryoko?" asked Washu, gently. "Everything's there, isn't it?"

"Don't be silly, of course it is," said Ryoko. "I just never dreamed that anything like this would ever happen."

Everyone could see how happy Washu was, too, to be able to give a gift like this to her daughter. She also looked to be on the verge of tears.

"You've been a ghost for a long time," said Washu. "So I guess I should warn you. Once you rebond with your body, it becomes permanent. There'll be no slipping out to do ghostly things anymore. Are you prepared for that?"

"Well, I gotta admit," said Ryoko, "there are a lot of fun things about being a ghost. But you give up a lot of things when you don't have a real body anymore, too. Things I've missed not having for a long time. And how many of us get a second crack at life? For me, this is a no-brainer."

Ryoko's spirit easily slipped into her body. Her eyes blinked a few times. There was now a light in them that hadn't been there a moment ago.

"Woo-hoo!" she suddenly cried, jamming both fists into the air.

The newly re-integrated Ryoko took hold of Washu's shoulders. "Mother! Tell me, what method did you use to arrive here?"

"My broom, of course. I gave up on cars when the price of gas went ridiculous."

"Where'd ya leave it?"

"Leaning against the house next door. Why?"

Ryoko kissed her on the forehead and dashed out the front door.

vvv

Ayeka was sweeping the walk outside her front door, when the sight of Ryoko running up to her caused her to freeze in absolute surprise.

"Gimme that," said Ryoko, snatching the broom from her.

Ayeka watched Ryoko hop onto the broom, then take off into the wild blue yonder on it. When her paralysis passed, she blinked a few times, then she felt her own forehead for signs of a temperature.

_The orange juice must've gone bad, _she thought, going back inside to dump the rest of it out.

vvv

"I wonder where she thinks she's off to?" said Washu, looking up, with her arms akimbo on the Masaki lawn, watching her daughter become just a small speck in the sky until even that disappeared. Shrugging, she headed back inside the house.

Inside, Kiyone was vacuuming up the remains of the urn. Tenchi, Sasami, and Ryo-Ohki were having a pleasant conversation. Mihoshi was washing the dishes in the kitchen.

"So," said Tenchi. "Have your memories returned yet?"

"Not really," sighed Ryo-Ohki. "The only thing I really know about myself is that I love tuna fish and absolutely detest carrots."

"Ohkis are a well-known species to witches," said Washu, coming back in from the yard. "Some swear they make better familiars than black cats because of their shape-shifting powers."

"I've got _powers_?" asked Ryo-Ohki.

"Well, just that one. And the power of speech, of course. But how many more do you really need, when you can assume the form of anything you can imagine? That's pretty darn useful, if you ask me," said Washu.

Ryo-Ohki became excited. "Oh, I've _got _to try it! Let's see...okay. I've got the image in my mind, now. Here's goes nothing!"

The little critter began to grow, her fur turning into scales, her claws becoming giant talons. Whatever she was turning into, it was clearly something large and reptilian.

"Yikes!" cried Tenchi, grabbing his equally astonished wife and daughter and heading out the front door. They were quickly followed by Mihoshi and Washu. Soon, the creature filled the living room with its bulk.

"I thought you said there was no evil left in that thing!" Kiyone yelled at Washu out in the yard.

"There isn't," replied Washu. "Dinosaurs aren't evil, _per se, _they just do their thing in order to survive, just like any of us."

"So, is the one in my house a carnivore or an herbivore?" asked Tenchi.

"Omnivore, I'd say," answered Washu, taking a peak inside. "It just swallowed your couch whole."

_"What?"_ cried Kiyone.

"It's nothing to get excited over," said Washu, still observing the creature. "If it's what I think it is, it has a pretty unique digestive system. It should be taking a dump any second now..."

With her eyes bulging out, Kiyone grabbed Tenchi by the shoulders, shaking him. "A dinosaur is about to take a dump on my floor, Tenchi! Do something!"

"Uh," said Tenchi, looking totally bewildered.

"Too late!" cried Washu. "The nasty deed has been done. By the way, we can go back in, now. Ryo-Ohki is back to her real form."

Everyone followed Washu back into the living room, where they indeed found Ryo-Ohki back in her original shape. But the item of furniture in question looked a little sticky.

"That was _fun_!" said Ryo-Ohki, rolling around gleefully on the floor.

Kiyone reached out and carefully touched some of the goo. "It doesn't look too bad. I think it can still be used as a couch -- with a little cleaning and disinfecting. Something about it seems a little different, though, but I can't quite put my finger on what that is, exactly."

"Don't bother," said Washu. "That stuff'll evaporate on its own. And it's not a couch, anymore. It's a sofa. That's a thesaurus for you. When they process something, it ends up being different in name only. Comes as no surprise they all died out, really. No nutritional value in words, you see?"

Mihoshi, unnoticed by everyone else during all this time, was continuously scribbling her eyewitness account on page after page in her handy notebook.

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED


	7. Chapter 7

Tenchi Muyo!: Witch World

Episode 7: The Welcomed and the Unwelcomed

"But Kiyone!" protested Mihoshi, looking quite unhappy.

"I'm sorry," said Kiyone, firmly. "In the first place, I'm already writing a book about my experiences here. If you write an article about us, now, you'll steal my thunder. Secondly, _I _don't even plan to let anyone publish my story until a long time from now, maybe sometime after Sasami grows up. Telling it to the public right now would turn this house into a circus tent. For the time being, I want us to have as normal a life as we can, given the circumstances. You can understand that, can't you?"

Mihoshi was silent for a good long moment,

Finally, she sighed. "Yes, I do. It's just that a scoop like this doesn't come along very often. This could have gotten me my job back. And gotten me out of your hair at the same time."

"Oh, Mihoshi," Kiyone couldn't help but give her sister an embrace at this point. Not just for her understanding, but to comfort her for thinking...well...the truth. Kiyone _wasn't_ initially thrilled by the idea of having her stay here. But it was one thing to be annoyed by her (and believe that Mihoshi was totally oblivious to _being _an annoyance), and quite another to hear her admit that she was very well aware of it -- and was unwelcome here because of it.

"Listen," continued Kiyone, looking her sister straight in the eyes. "I know I haven't been the warmest sister to you that I could have..._should_ have been. And for that I apologize. The things that have happened in this house have changed me. Opened my mind. Made me see things in a new way. This world is more strange and wonderful than I could ever have allowed myself to imagine on my own. It taught me, for one thing, that I shouldn't allow my pride to stand in the way of admitting when I'm wrong."

Kiyone dropped her arms to her sides. "Don't ever think that you are 'in my hair.' You are my only sister. And I want you to know that you are always welcome to stay here...for as long as you need."

Mihoshi brightened. "Um...in that case, can I ask a teeny favor?"

"Sure. What?"

"Can I turn on your TV? My favorite show is coming on."

vvv

Ayeka was about to empty the contents of the orange juice carton down the kitchen sink, when her husband stopped her.

"Woah!" said Nobuyuki. "What're you doing? That juice hasn't expired yet!"

"Fine," she told him, allowing him to take the carton from her. "Don't blame me when you start getting hallucinations, too."

"Hallucinations?" repeated Nobuyuki, incredulously. "Like what?"

"When I was outside, just now, sweeping off the walk, I could have sworn that ghost woman marched right up to me and took the broom right out of my hands! And then she flew off on it into the clear blue sky."

"But you know Ryoko can't leave the property lines of her house," said Nobuyuki. "Not without possessing a body, at least."

"That's right. Still want to drink that juice?"

"Hmm," said Katsuhito, before his son could answer. "There may be a better explanation than that for what you saw, Ayeka. I think I will pay our neighbors a little visit. If I learn anything, I'll be sure to come back and tell you before I leave to go back home."

vvv

Mihoshi was watching her favorite TV show, the anime version of _Lou Grant. _Lou wasabout toaccidentally sit on his boss' little dog, when the door chime of the Masaki residence rang.

"I'll get it!" sang Mihoshi, jumping off of the sofa to open the door.

There stood Katsuhito Jurai, dressed as if he was prepared to go on a trip.

"Oh, hello," he said to her. "I'm here to see Tenchi or Kiyone."

"Well, Tenchi is out back somewhere, I think. But Kiyone is right here by the computer," said Mihoshi. "Kiyone! Someone here to see you!"

"Mr. Jurai," greeted Kiyone, as she came over to stand beside her sister. "Won't you come in?"

"Thank you. I came to pay my respects and apologize for not being able to help you. I'll be going back home this evening. and I also would like to take my leave of my master."

"Washu?" said Kiyone. "She's in the back yard with Tenchi and Sasami. I'll show you the way. Incidentally, this is my sister, Mihoshi Makibi. Mihoshi, this is our neighbor's father, Katsuhito Jurai."

"Hi!" smiled Mihoshi, waving at him.

"A pleasure to meet you," bowed Katsuhito.

When he straightened back up, he looked at Mihoshi in a slightly odd way.

"Forgive me, but something about you seems strangely familiar to me. Have we met before?

"Nope," smiled Mihoshi. "At least I don't think so. Have we?"

"Hmm," Katsuhito rubbed his chin. "Perhaps not."

Kiyone suddenly realized with a start that these two had indeed met before. Mihoshi had written an article about him for the newspaper where she had -- until recently -- been employed as a reporter. Although said article truthfully conveyed the facts of his unsuccessful attempt to rid a

construction site of five prehistoric poltergeists, it also made Katsuhito a national laughing stock at his chosen profession of exorcist.

As Kiyone led him through the house to the back door, she thought it was best to let sleeping dogs lie. But she still wondered, _how could it be that they didn't recognize each other?_ In her sister's case, it _could_ easily be explained away as being due to that lit bit of air that Mihoshi has always carried around in her head. But what was Katsuhito's excuse?

_Maybe she hadn't bleached her hair, yet, when she interviewed him_, thought Kiyone. _Sometimes all it takes is a simple change of hairstyle to throw a man off. Particularly one of Katsuhito's advanced years._

"By the way," she told him as they reached the back door, "please don't sell your contribution short. If you hadn't sent for Washu in such a timely manner, we could have all been killed. So, in that way, we owe you our lives, too."

"You know, when you put it like that, it's true," grinned Katsuhito. "In that case, I'll be sending you a bill for my share of the service."

"Swell," Kiyone gave him a me-and-my-big-mouth look as she opened the door.

"Just kidding!" laughed Katsuhito. "You're too easy a target, Kiyone!"

vvv

Outside, they found Tenchi and Washu sitting on floating cushions, cheering and applauding every time the small pony that Sasami was gleefully riding cleared a small hurdle.

"Are you sure you're not getting tired, Ryo-Ohki?" asked Sasami.

"Are you kidding?" answered the pony. "I'm having the time of my life! I want to try being _everything_!"

"Kiyone! Katsuhito!" greeted Washu. "Would you like a floating cushion, too? It's no trouble. We're watching Sasami developing her riding skills. You know, she just may have a future in this sort of thing."

"No, thank you, Master," said Katsuhito. "I can't stay long. I'm afraid I must be heading back to my own place, tonight. I came to express my gratitude for what you have done for these fine people, and also to say goodbye."

"So soon?" asked Washu. "I've only just arrived! You and I have still got a lot of catching up to do! Can't you postpone your return just a little longer?"

"I think I have imposed on my son and his wife long enough."

"Hmm," said Washu. "I'll bet your son is thrilled to have his dad around. You're just worried about what _she_ thinks, aren't you? Well, wasn't _she_ the one who initially called you?"

"Yes, that is true. But one who is wise knows better than to overstay one's welcome. Besides, I also have things to attend to at home. But speaking of Ayeka, she said something earlier today that sounded rather strange. She said that Ryoko actually came up to her, took her broom, and flew off into the sky on it. Could this possibly be true?"

"Took _my _broom, actually. Any broom Ayeka might own just wouldn't be air-worthy. But, yes, Ryoko is no longer a ghost. It's a long story, and one I'd really like to have the time to tell you. So stay a day or two more as a favor to your old master, hmm?"

Katsuhito considered it, then allowed himself a smile. "Very well, then. As a favor to my master."

"Great!" said Washu, pointing at the air in front of Katsuhito and causing a floating cushion to appear with a _poof!_ "Take a load off your feet. How about you, Kiyone?"

"Why not?" said Kiyone. "I could use a break from the computer."

_Poof! _Another cushion was created for Kiyone.

The little group sat and watched Sasami ride Ryo-Ohki a little while longer, before Sasami pointed to something in the air.

"Look!" she cried. "Is that Ryoko coming back?"

As it came closer, it became plain that it was a witch riding a broom. But as she swooped down beside them for a landing, it also became plain that this was not Ryoko.

The stranger posed before them, standing her broom beside herself with her right hand. She had

magenta-colored hair and amber eyes, and might have been described as being pretty, if not for her unsympathetic gaze and insincere smile.

"Ramia," said Washu, turning pale.

"Hello, Washu," said Ramia. "It has been a while, hasn't it? I'll bet you know why I'm here, don't you? Come on, admit it."

"The only thing that would send _you_ out on a lovely day like this," said Washu, "would have to be

business from the Council of Elders, now, wouldn't it?"

"Bingo!" said Ramia. "I'm here to arrest you. But if you came along quietly, that would hardly be any fun. Please tell me that you're going to resist, hmm?"

"If this is a proper arrest," said Washu, "I do have the right to know what I'm being charged with, you know."

"As if you didn't already know," Ramia sighed. "Very well. You are charged with the blatant and willful disregard of the Council's ruling in the case of the humans' execution of your daughter. There was a blood oath signed between our two races that prevented a war from happening over

this matter. We agreed to allow the sacrifice of Ryoko for the greater good. You agreed to not interfere."

"Then there's no problem," said Washu. "Ryoko _was_ executed. I did not interfere."

"Oh, but, somehow, you did," contradicted Ramia. "Ryoko is alive. She has recently been spotted in a pub in Ireland, known only to leprechauns. One of them recognized her and reported her to us."

"Did you catch her?" asked Washu.

Ramia frowned. "For the time being, she has given us the slip."

"Well, there you go then," said Washu. "Simple case of mistaken identity, I'd say. You know, my daughter was a very pretty girl. A lot of witches would give their dragon's teeth to have her looks. Maybe somebody used a doppelganger spell to make herself look like Ryoko, just to turn a few heads. After all, it's not like the real Ryoko would be in any position to object."

"So, you are saying she is still here? Haunting this house?" sneered Ramia.

Washu gave a knowing look to Ryo-Ohki, who was still in pony form with Sasami on her back. The both of them were behind Ramia's back, and, therefore, outside of her peripheral vision.

The pony nodded to Washu, allowing Sasami to slide off her back. Then the pony began to transform...

"Where else would I be?" asked Ryoko's voice.

Ramia turned to behold a transparent Ryoko standing beside Sasami.

"Ryoko? I see. So you still are dead," said Ramia. "Well, my face is certainly red. This whole thing has been one ghastly misunderstanding, hasn't it?"

Suddenly, Ramia thrust a finger at the specter, unleashing a torrent of magical energy which enveloped it, causing it to scream in Ryoko's voice, before it became Ryo-Ohki's scream. The magic had shrunken her back down to her furry little true form, before she flopped over onto the grass, unconscious.

Ramia's eyes flared back at Washu. "I don't know whether to laugh at your stupidity, or punish you for insulting my intelligence! So I think I'll do _both_!"

"Ryo-Ohki!" cried Sasami, about to scoop the little demon up in her arms. But she never got the chance.

Ramia laughingly threw a bolt of magic at Sasami, causing her to implode into nothingness.

"_SASAMI!!" _screamed Kiyone and Tenchi, on their feet, and bolting toward the spot that their daughter had been standing only a moment ago.

"_What have you done to her?!" _demanded Kiyone.

"Don't worry," smiled Ramia. "She is safe, for the time being. But she is in a place from which only I can retrieve her. So I guess you better pray that nothing happens to me in the meantime, eh?"

Turning her attention back to Washu, she said. "Consider the child your bail bond, Washu. Don't even think of trying to skip town. You have one week to assemble your defense, so be prepared to plead your case before the Council when I come back to fetch you. I needn't remind you what the consequences will be in the event that you are found guilty, do I?"

With that, Ramia put her broom between her legs, and laughingly flew away.

vvv

It was late when Washu's broom returned home with Ryoko draped over it like wet laundry. Somehow, the green top hat with the picture of a shamrock on it, managed to stay on her head for the entire trip back. From her right hand dangled a jug of whiskey. She fell off of the broom, landing on the grass of the Masaki front lawn, then she used the broom to pull herself up onto her shaky legs.

She stumbled into the living room and blinked at all of the people gathered in there.

"Wush goin' on here? Thish looksh like a foonin...fyoonineral. Wush up with all the long fay-shish? Cheer up! Ish my re-birthday!"

Ryoko took another swig from her jug, then fell face down onto the carpet.

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED


	8. Chapter 8

Tenchi Muyo!: Witch World

Episode 8: The Lawyer

Even though it was now the wee hours of Monday morning, no one in the Masaki home could think of sleeping, or returning to a normal weekday routine.

Ryoko, however, had been carried upstairs, to sleep off her drinking binge.

Kiyone was on the sofa with her face buried in her hands. _My little girl is all alone for the first time in her life. And there's nothing I can do for her._

Ayeka had come over to see what had delayed her father-in-law's return to their house, and so Katsuhito had informed her about everything that had just transpired. Currently, Ayeka and Mihoshi sat on each side of Kiyone, each trying their best to console her. Tenchi stood behind Kiyone, with his hands on his wife's shoulders, but he looked like he could use some consoling, himself.

"Can't you use that evil-screen thing on her?" he suddenly asked Washu.

Washu shook her head sadly. "True evil is something that comes from the pit, Tenchi. Ramia is simply a jerk. Minor difference, I know, but it's enough. If it's any consolation to you guys, when she said Sasami was someplace safe, you can bet your life on it. It still doesn't excuse kidnapping a human child from her parents, though. Either Ramia must be so certain of her victory in court that it won't matter when it's all over, or the Council has given her special privilege to act in whatever means necessary in my case. Personally, I'm leaning toward the latter."

"She mentioned consequences, if you are found guilty," said Katsuhito. "What did she mean by that?"

"Disobedience to a Council ruling is one of our highest offenses," explained Washu. "It's kind of like charging a sailor with mutiny. If the Council finds me guilty, they _can_ sentence me to death. _If _they feel like letting me off easy."

"That's insane!" said Tenchi. "Isn't this council of yours supposed to be made up of wise people? You only did what _any_ mother in your position would do! How could they punish something like that?"

"I'm afraid that in _their_ minds, it's all a matter of what must take precedence. There's a bigger picture at stake here than just Ryoko and me. We're talking about a time when mankind and witchkind were poised on the brink of a war. Now you may think that one side being gifted with the use of magic, and the other being sadly lacking in that department, that such a thing would end up being a complete slaughter, and you'd be right. It's a good thing for you that witches aren't about genocide or world domination. ...Well, okay, that's true about us for the _most_ part. But now is not the time to be getting into that. Anyhow, most of us would rather avoid that kind of confrontation. Except one thing made it impossible."

"We share this world, your kind and mine," she continued. "And our peoples have mixed over the generations. Among humans there are people with what you call 'extrasensory perception.' Fancy term for having a little witch blood in you. Among you there are also people called 'mages', who are not true witches, but still know enough about magic to be very formidable. And there are plenty of full-blooded witches who have made it clear that they would fight for the mortals they love, even if it does mean turning against their own kind to do it. So you see, you humans are not totally defenseless. It was, in fact, one of your champions who captured Ryoko, and forced her to pay for her indiscretions with her life. It was one of the major demands made in the treaty which has kept peace between our peoples for centuries."

"So, aside from not wanting a bloodbath on our consciences, we now have to fear the warlike side of humans, because your side has now been empowered to inflict the unthinkable against ours, too. Think of it as something like your atomic bomb. So what if one side can destroy the world fifty times over, while the other can only do it twenty? _Once_ is more than enough, isn't it? Now you see what makes the Council of Elders so upset. One of the points of our peace treaty has apparently been negated -- because Ryoko is alive. And if the Council knows this, you can bet that the champions of humanity are gonna find out, if they haven't already. And when they do, chances are they're gonna be out for blood. Both Ryoko's AND mine, this time."

Ayeka gave Washu an angry look. "You mean to tell us that you knew this all along, and you _still_ let Ryoko fly out there to be recognized by someone? Just what is the _matter_ with you?"

"Hey, gimme a break!" protested Washu. "What she did took me by surprise, too! How was I supposed to know she was gonna go halfway around the world and get herself spotted by someone who still remembered her and saw fit to fink on her? I'm not one of those crystal

ball using witches, you know. My talents don't include that."

"If you want to blame someone, blame me," said a depressed-looking Ryo-Ohki at Washu's feet. "If only my impersonation of Ryoko had been a little better, then none of this would be happening now."

Washu knelt down to pat the little demon on her head. "It was excellent, Ryo-Ohki. You could have fooled even me! We just both underestimated Ramia, that's all. It's a mistake I don't intend to repeat."

Rising back to a stance, Washu snapped her fingers, causing something that had the appearance of a telephone to appear in the air before her. "Right now, I'm calling my lawyer. We have a saying for occasions like this, 'a witch who represents herself in court has a fool for a client.'"

vvv

For a moment, everything around Sasami was solidly white. This whiteness gradually faded away to reveal a very green parklike place. The weather was sunny, birds were pleasantly chirping. It looked very much like a fine spot to have a picnic.

"Oh, my ears and whiskers!" cried a large white rabbit, looking at its pocket watch. "I'll be late!"

Sasami watched it hurriedly hop on its way. _Okay. I know what that is. If I follow it, I'll fall down a hole and end up in Wonderland. But that's not going to get me home, so forget that._

She folded her arms with determination and stayed put. After the rabbit hopped out of sight, the next thing she noticed was a giant soap bubble lazily floating down from the sky. It lit on the ground before her and disappeared, revealing a woman in a fairy princess outfit, complete with a star-tipped wand in one hand.

"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" smiled this strange person.

"I'm not a witch at all," frowned Sasami. "And I'm not Dorothy, either. I just want to go home."

"I see. First you must wear the ruby slippers..."

"I DON'T HAVE ANY RUBY SLIPPERS!" emphasized Sasami. "Oh, never mind."

Sasami turned around and marched away from the strange lady, making a right turn into a nearby forest -- in order to intentionally avoid following the yellow brick road that was trying its best to tempt her into setting foot upon it.

Which, she soon came to think, might have been a mistake. In the first place, It was a dark and spooky place to be. Secondly, it seemed to Sasami, after a while, that she could hear someone else's feet stepping on the crunchy fallen leaves that blanketed the floor of the woods. There was no doubt about it. Somebody was following her.

But every time she stopped moving, the other noise also stopped.

She looked carefully around, but all she saw were more trees.

"_Psst!_" said someone from behind a tree directly to her left.

"Who's there?" demanded Sasami, whipping around.

A wolf's face popped out from behind the tree. "Don't be scared, kid. It's only me. Where are you off to? Granny's house? Say, where's your basket of goodies?"

Sasami sighed. "You know, I think I must've left it at Granny's. How about I race you there?"

"You're _on_," said the wolf, excitedly. He sprinted away as fast as his legs could go.

Sasami watched him disappear into the distance...and decided to take a very different path.

Once out of the woods, she came to a signpost which identified where the forked paths ahead led.

One sign pointed to _Yubaba's Bathhouse_...1km. Another pointed to _Cat Kingdom...5_km. The third pointed to _Konan (Hong-Nan) Kingdom..._200km. The fourth was perched on top of the post, and was pointing straight up into the empty sky -- _Gaea_...768,836km.

Sasami turned about, and leaned against the signpost with her back. _What does all this mean? And why am I here?"_

Presently a bus arrived, coming to a stop at the signpost. Not surprisingly, it looked like a bus made from a large multilegged cat, which was grinning at her. Inside was only one passenger, an oval-shaped creature holding an open umbrella over its head. It, too, was grinning at her.

Sasami looked at the destination plate over the cat's head, which read _Shichikokuyama Hospital._ Nope. Not where she wanted to go. She shook her head at them, and they grinningly continued on their merry way.

This is when it sank in to her that she was truly lost. And trapped in a world where the only familiar faces she was ever going to see all came from fairy tales.

She slid down to the ground, hugging her legs. Softly, she began to cry.

vvv

There was a beautiful sunrise in Japan at that moment. Washu was waiting outside in the front yard, scanning the sky for the arrival of her lawyer.

A witch with pale blue hair and two dots on her forehead flew down from the sky on her broom, rewarding Washu's patience. Also perched on the broom was an eagle-sized bird with a white breast and a purple head and wings. The bird remained on the hovering broom when it was low enough to the ground for the witch to disembark from it.

At first, they greeted one another properly, with bows. Then they both burst out laughing at their own formality and hugged each other most informally.

Washu invited the newcomer inside, and that's when the bird flew over to perch on the newcomer's left shoulder.

"Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to my lawyer, Tsunami," announced Washu. "Tsunami, I'm afraid I don't know who your friend is, there..."

Tsunami had a pleasant expression on her face, almost as if she somehow knew that no matter how badly things went, it would all turn out all right in the end. "This is Rumiya. He's my familiar. Pleased to meet you, everyone. As Washu would have no doubt told you, I am not only her lawyer, but also her friend. We go back a long, long, long, long way."

"They get the idea," said Washu. "Enough with all the 'longs.' already."

Tsunami nodded. "And I'm sure she would like to get started with building her case, as soon as possible. But I understand that we have a child involved here, who is being used as bail bond, is that right?"

Kiyone's tear-stained face suddenly looked up at the newcomer. "Yes. Is there some way that you can get her back for us?"

Tsunami's expression saddened slightly. "No, I'm sorry. Only the one who originally put her there can bring her back. And legally, she must remain there until Washu appears at her trial. However, there is one thing Rumiya and I _can_ do to help make this burden of separation a little lighter, both for you and for her."

vvv

Sasami had never felt so alone and abandoned in her life. She couldn't make any sense out of her surroundings, nor could she understand why she deserved to be exiled here, with no friends, no family, and no one around to properly explain anything to her that she really needed to know. Just characters from fantasies, who only knew enough to go through their expected motions, and nothing more.

She was so wrapped up in her sadness, that she didn't even hear the flapping of the wings just above her head. But the voice sure startled her.

"You really don't have any reason to cry, you know," it said.

Sasami gasped and stood up, facing the signpost. Perched on one of the signs was an eagle-sized purple bird with a white breast.

"It's just a pocket universe," the bird continued. "Working witches drop off their kids in places like this all the time. It's like a daycare center, only more fun. This one is optimized for girls."

"I don't recognize you," said Sasami. "What story are you from?"

"That's because I'm not from around here. I'm from outside, just like you. I know who _you_ are, though. You're Sasami Masaki, am I right?"

"Yes! But how do you know my name?"

"I was sent here to find you. And that was easy because you're the only one in the whole place who's unhappy. Little witches never cry because they're brought here. They cry when it comes time to leave!"

"But I'm not a witch," protested Sasami. "I don't belong here. I just want to go home."

"I know," said the bird, gently. "In your case, this place is being used more like a safety deposit box. Even so, it doesn't mean that you can't have the time of your life, here. You're absolutely safe from any harm. You can play in any setting from any story you like. If you need to use the facilities, there are restrooms in all of the buildings. When you get hungry or thirsty, that's even easier. Just picture what you want in your mind, and say the magic word."

"What's the magic word?" asked Sasami.

"Pi-po-pa," said the bird.

Instantly, a sardine sandwich popped into existence in front of the bird. He took a bite from it.

"Mmm," said the bird. "Delicious! Go on, now you try."

"Pi-po-pa," said Sasami.

A glass of water appeared for her.

"It really works," said Sasami, taking a sip.

"Of course! And if you can't finish it for any reason, just reverse it and it'll go away. Like this. Pa-po-pi."

The sandwich disappeared.

"Wow!" said Sasami. "Is there a magic word that'll take me home, too?"

The bird hung his head. _This human girl sure has a one track mind._

"I'm afraid not, Sasami. You'll have to stay here for at least one week. But don't worry, once you get into the swing of it, that week'll just fly by. And I've saved the best news for last. I've brought something for you. Hold out your hands together, palms up."

Sasami took one more sip of water, before dismissing the glass with the magic word. Then she did as the bird requested.

The bird made a magical gesture with its wings, causing a wristwatch with a somewhat oversized face to materialize in Sasami's hands.

"Put it on, and press the button on the side," instructed the bird.

As soon as Sasami did that, she saw a human face appear on the watch, just as if it was a little TV. It was her mother.

Kiyone's eyes looked sore, as if she had been crying, as well. "Sasami, darling? Can you hear me? Can you see me?"

Tears welled up in Sasami's eyes once more.

Only this time...they were accompanied by a great big smile.

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED


	9. Chapter 9

Tenchi Muyo! Witch World

Episode 9: Whatever It Takes

Little Misao couldn't help staring at her friend Sasami in class.

Sasami had caught her doing this a couple of times, and was now giving Misao a few _what's your problem? _looks.

Misao tried to smile back and shake her head, as if it was nothing. But something was indeed bothering her.

Misao hadn't known Sasami for very long. Sasami was, after all, the new kid in the school. And being the new kid meant that all the other kids were strangers to her. Misao understood the feeling well, not because she was new here, herself, but because her bashful nature made it very difficult for her to make friends with anyone. Nor they with her.

So when Misao and Sasami first met, it was on the basis of that common ground. Two friendless kids who decided it would be a good idea to team up and show the world that they at least had each other.

And that made Misao very happy.

But today, for some unknown reason, it almost seemed -- from the moment that Sasami had joined her for the morning walk to school -- that the real Sasami had somehow been replaced by some weird alien clone.

Misao shook that nonsense out of her head. It probably came from watching too many of those kinds of movies on TV.

But it was still a fact that Sasami had been doing little things all day that made her look like a different person -- one who had never attended this school before today, but was doing her best to pretend otherwise.

Misao really didn't know what to think. Maybe Sasami just wasn't herself, today, for some very good logical reason. If Misao stopped calling attention to it, maybe Sasami would be back to normal by tomorrow.

vvv

Ryoko's vision was blurry. And her head hurt. It was the morning after. Or, more probably, the afternoon after.

_Hangovers_, she thought, trying to prop herself up in bed. _One of the minuses of having a body._

She realized, with a start, that there was someone else in the room with her. Someone who was just quietly staring at her for who knows how long.

"Finally decided to get out of your drunken stupor, have you?" said the blur with Ayeka's voice.

Ryoko blinked a few times, then found her own voice as she sat up, placing her feet on the floor and her hands on her pounding head. "What are you doing in here? Get out, before I turn you into a toad, or something."

"Oh, yes," said Ayeka. "That would take care of the messenger, all right. But what would that do about the message?"

"Not now. I am _really_ not in the mood."

"You have no idea what you've wrought upon your mother, OR the Masakis, have you? For all you know, all you've done is just gone and had yourself a good time, isn't it?"

"What are you babbling about?"

"I'm babbling about how you are the reason that poor little Sasami has been torn away from her family. And, as if that wasn't enough, you've also placed your own mother on trial for her life. Quite a nice thank you, after all she's done for you."

Ryoko gingerly stood up, allowing Ayeka's words to sink in. "W-what? Something's happened to Sasami? And what's this about my mother?"

"Well, the story, as I understand it, is that some leprechaun friend of yours decided to report you to your witchy high command. You are supposed to be dead, you see. So they sent someone here to arrest your mother for treason, who then decided to take Sasami, instead. I wonder if any of this even bothers you in the least?"

Ryoko's first inclination was to call her a liar and change her into something really silly looking. But, she had to admit, it was not Ayeka's style to play games of this sort. It wouldn't make any sense for her to risk Ryoko's wrath over such a lame reason.

Which meant that either Ryoko was hallucinating this entire conversation, or Ayeka was being absolutely truthful.

"Get out!" snapped Ryoko, instantly regretting the sharp spike of pain it caused her head.

Ayeka didn't need to be told twice. Her retreat was so quick, it could almost have been called magic.

vvv

Ryoko eased her way downstairs. She saw that Washu was speaking to somebody on the sofa (when did that become a _sofa_?), but all she could see of that person was the back of her head. Ayeka stood warily behind Washu, not taking her eyes off of Ryoko.

"Where is everybody?" asked Ryoko.

"Well, look who's up," said Washu. "Don't be shy, come on down and join us. Tenchi decided to go off to work, even though the poor guy didn't get _any_ sleep all night. Kiyone had a rough night, too, but since she didn't need to go anywhere, I slipped her a little sleeping potion and Mihoshi put her to bed. I imagine Mihoshi is probably still sleeping in her own room, too. Katsuhito went next door, and is probably filling his son in on everything that's happened. And little Ryo-Ohki is subbing for Sasami in school. If she can pull that off, Sasami won't be missed by her teacher or the other kids...and we can still get her lessons and homework to her, so her education won't be interrupted. Ayeka, here, generously volunteered to watch over you and break the news to you."

"Yeah, I can imagine," Ryoko spared a moment to glare at Ayeka. "So, who's the stranger?"

Tsunami turned to face Ryoko with a happy smile and a friendly little wave. "Hi, Ryoko!"

For a moment Ryoko froze like a statue, feeling all the blood draining from her face. One could almost hear a cow's moo coming from out of nowhere.

When Ryoko was able to speak, again, it was in a very agitated way to Washu.

"I don't _believe_ this! You're gonna use this woman _again_!? After the way she represented _me_ at _my _trial!? Are you out of your crabby-headed _mind_!? She'll get us _both_ hanged this time!"

"Now, now," said Washu. "Let's be fair. In the first place, that was a human-run trial, and you know what kangaroo courts those can be to begin with. Throw in a witch, and you're automatically guilty until proven innocent. And to top it all off, you didn't exactly help Tsunami's case by actually _being_ guilty on all counts, now, did you?"

Ryoko, for a moment, was at a loss for words.

Ayeka said, "You should be helping your mother instead of looking for ways of being contrary with her."

Ryoko pointed a finger at her. "_You_ need to stop quacking with that annoying duck's bill of yours."

A beam of sparkling magic shot from her fingertip. Ayeka ducked behind the sofa with a yelp, but she really hadn't needed to do that. Washu easily and harmlessly intercepted it by blocking it with her right palm.

"She's right, you know," said Washu, clapping the sparkling dust from her hands. "Now, more than ever, you're going to need to master that temper of yours. Ayeka's on our side, and frankly, we could use every friend we've got by the end of this week, because it could mean the difference between you and I enjoying the eternity to which we witches are entitled, or..."

Washu gave Ryoko the very scary **Serious Eye**, "..._not _enjoying it at all. Do. You. Catch. My. Drift?"

Ryoko quickly backed down. "Okay! Okay! Just stop looking at me that way! You're creepin' me out!"

"Oh, I'm so glad that's settled," smiled Tsunami, lightly applauding. "But if you think there won't be any humans at this trial, Washu, you are mistaken. Humans will comprise half of the jury, and some representatives of the champions of humanity will be there as overseers."

"Wonderful," sighed Ryoko, with a hand on her neck, imagining a noose around it for the _second_ time. "Here we go, again."

"That's a defeatist attitude," said Washu. "Think positive! We are going to do whatever it takes to win this thing, right?"

"Washu, I just had a thought," came Ayeka's voice from behind the sofa.

"Okay, let's hear it," encouraged Washu.

Ayeka's head slowly rose back up to visibility. "Didn't you say that this Ramia person was not only after you, but after Ryoko, too? Won't they come back here to try to arrest her, as well?"

"Well, technically, she said Ryoko had been giving them the slip," said Washu. "Having been already tried, convicted, and executed for her crimes in front of a lot of witnesses, it's not likely that they are really after her in the same way that they are after me."

"That's true," agreed Tsunami. "Ryoko's death is a certified fact, so her case is officially closed. But if a credible witness says that he saw her alive, then that opens up the possibility that her death was somehow faked, then that would demand a thorough investigation. Obviously, the true story is that Washu used some new forms of witchcraft to restore her to life, and, in fact, premeditated that outcome before sentence was passed. This is the legal gray area. Did Washu's actions actually break any specific point of human law or any specific points of the treaty? No. But the judge and jury may decide that the spirit of the law was violated, if not the letter of it, because the intent was for Ryoko to die and stay dead, even though that is not expressly stated anywhere, because, up to now, the permanency of death has always been taken for granted. In this case, Ryoko would be wanted more as 'Exhibit A,' rather than as a suspect."

"That's all very well and good," said Ayeka. "But the operative word in both cases is 'wanted,' isn't it? So what's stopping Ramia from coming back here to take Ryoko?"

"Nothing," said Tsunami and Washu, simultaneously.

"Huh," said Ryoko, folding her arms. "She's welcome to try."

"Don't invite it, Ryoko," warned Washu. "She's been specially empowered by the Council. I doubt _I_ could stand up to her, if she really wanted to go to the trouble of hauling me in. But this thing she's doing with Sasami must somehow feed her ego in a more satisfying way than just overpowering me and putting me in a cell. I think it's part of her overall strategy."

"You're probably right," said Tsunami. "She's been my opponent in court, before. It's amazed me, the depths to which she will go in order to win. In a cell, you'd be focusing all of your efforts on your case. As it stands, your attention is now divided between your case, and Sasami."

"That traitor!" exclaimed Ryoko. "She always did care more about getting brownie points than she ever did about her own people!"

"There goes your temper, again," chided Washu. "I intend to beat her, no matter how many different ways my attention is divided. Because I'm going to rise to the occasion. And I expect no less from you."

"Yeah, yeah," growled Ryoko. "So, should I be prepared to fight, if someone from the Council comes to get me, or should I just go peacefully?"

"The way I see it," said Tsunami, "if Ramia can play dirty pool, then so can we..."

Tsunami suddenly cast a spell on Ryoko, making her fade away into nothingness.

"What? An invisibility spell?" came Ryoko's voice from out of nowhere. "A baby can do that. And any witch knows how to circumvent one."

"It's not an invisibility spell," smiled Tsunami. "I've placed you inside my own brand of pocket universe. You are just enough outside of our dimension to not exist in it, yet close enough to it to be able to see and hear everything in it. This way we can still have your input. But if anyone comes to get you, they won't be able to, because you'll be completely out of their reach, in a place from which only I can bring you back."

"That's brilliant!" cried Washu. "No 'Exhibit A' for Ramia to use against me in court!"

"Well, I wouldn't go quite that far," said Tsunami. "Dirty pool outside of court is one thing. But I won't sacrifice my ethics _in_ court. I intend to win legally, ethically, and morally, or not at all."

"Is it too late to get Ramia to represent you?" asked Ryoko's voice.

Washu grinned in an embarrassed way to Tsunami. "She's just kidding! Really!"

The front door opened. "Sasami" came in, closed the door and slipped off her backpack.

"Ryo-Ohki!" said Washu. "How did your first day at school go?"

"Sasami" shrank back down into her small furry demon form, and heaved a sigh.

"Rougher than I thought," said Ryo-Ohki. "Even with Sasami telling me what to expect over that visual watch that you gave her, I still made plenty of little blunders all day. Her friend Misao's been giving me the strangest looks, like she suspects I'm not Sasami. I don't know how I'm going to keep this up for four more days."

"You can do it," said Washu. "The first day is always the toughest. Trust me, it'll get progressively easier with each day. And after Friday, you won't have to worry about it, anymore. Unless, of course, you _like _the idea of going to school and getting an education..."

Ryo-Ohki perked up a little at this. "What do you mean?"

"Well, this gives you a little taste of it, doesn't it? If you decide that it's something you might like to do on a more permanent basis, we can enroll you there as a new student. You can pick a form that you're more comfortable with, and be yourself, more or less, with the kids and the teachers there. It'll give you something meaningful to do in the daytime hours. Plus, you'll be able to watch over Sasami, too, when she comes back, which isn't a bad thing, either. I'm not trying to push you into it. It's just something for you to consider, if you want."

"Hmm, I don't know," said Ryo-Ohki. "But it is something to think about. I'm hungry. Anybody got any tuna?"

Washu went into the kitchen and looked inside the shelves and cupboards until she found a can of tuna and opened it up for Ryo-Ohki.

While Ryo-Ohki ate with a good appetite, Washu thought it might be a good idea to fix some chow for everyone.

"Tenchi ought to be coming home soon. Mihoshi and Kiyone'll be getting up soon, too. Say, how about we show these folks a _real_ witch's feast?"

"I tried to, once," said Ryoko's voice. "They were too afraid to even taste it."

"In that case, we'll just have to show them that there's nothing _to_ be afraid of," said Washu, rolling up her sleeves and cracking her knuckles. "Ayeka? Wanna help?"

But Ayeka had found a comfortable armchair, and had fallen asleep in it. There was a sizable snot bubble expanding and contracting from her nose.

"Guess not," said Washu. "Okay, Tsunami, it looks like it's you and me."

"Can I help, too?" asked Ryo-Ohki, who had just finished all the tuna.

"Of course you can," said Washu. "Rumiya should be back from his errand any minute now. When he does return, he'll take you to where Sasami is, so you can bring her her lessons and her homework for today."

vvv

Rumiya and Ryo-Ohki, along with Sasami's backpack, sat patiently on a green hilltop, watching Sasami help Sailor Moon and her friends defeat the plans of the evil Queen Beryl. As they enjoyed the show, they had time to have a little conversation, as well.

"So what's it like being a witch's familiar?" asked Ryo-Ohki.

"I enjoy it," said the bird. "But it's not for everyone. I make it look easy, because I've been at it for a long time. Some witches are a joy to work with, like Tsunami. She's just such a nice person, it's unreal. Then there are others, like...well, I'd rather not talk about it. Let's just say that some relationships can get abusive, and let it go at that. Why? Are you looking to hook up with a witch, yourself?"

"Maybe," said Ryo-Ohki.

"Washu seems nice," said the bird. "And it doesn't look like she already has a familiar."

"Is that important?" asked Ryo-Ohki. "Aren't witches allowed as many familiars as they want?"

"The relationship between a witch and her familiar needs to be special and close. When a third or fourth party buts in, it upsets that balance. That's why it rarely works. Witches with a lot of familiars, or familiars who serve more than one witch -- that's only a recipe for trouble, if you ask me."

When Sasami had noticed the two of them up there, her face brightened in recognition. She waved goodbye to the other girls, and her costume reverted back to her normal outfit, as she ran up the hill to greet them.

"Rumiya! Ryo-Ohki! How long have you been here?"

Rumiya said, "Long enough to see you triumph over evil, kid. Being a magical superheroine somehow suits you. Wasn't it fun?"

"I'll say," said Sasami. "You were right, this place _can_ be a lot of fun, once you get used to it. I wish that Misao could be here with me, though. She'd love it."

"Misao?" asked the bird.

"That's Sasami's friend at school," explained Ryo-Ohki.

"Oh," said the bird. "A human girl, then. Actually, Sasami, humans aren't really supposed to be in places like this. You are a special case. Once you leave, it's not likely that another human will visit here for a long, long time."

"Why's that?" asked Sasami.

The bird looked uncomfortable. "It's...it's kinda complicated. Anyway, Ryo-Ohki brought you your schoolbooks and your homework, so that you can start class, now."

"That's not all," added Ryo-Ohki, while rooting through Sasami's backpack. "Your mom asked me to bring you this, too."

Ryo-Ohki pulled out a small book that had a lock on it, and gave it to her.

"My diary!" exclaimed Sasami, accepting it.

"Yeah," said Ryo-Ohki. "She knew you'd want to write down your experiences here while they were still fresh in your mind. Speaking of which..."

Ryo-Ohki transformed into Sasami's teacher, Miss Chihiro.

"...Let's get started while your lessons are still fresh in mine," she said in Miss Chihiro's voice.

"I think I'll leave the two of you to it, then," said Rumiya. "Ryo-Ohki, when you are ready to leave, just give me a call on Sasami's watch, and I'll come to get you."

The bird took to the sky, as Sasami and Ryo-Ohki waved goodbye.

vvv

Rumiya was approaching the exit of the pocket universe, when something intercepted him and blocked his way.

It was Ramia, on her broom. And she was giving him one really nasty look.

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED


	10. Chapter 10

Tenchi Muyo! Witch World

Episode 10: The Triple Agent

The Masakis and the Jurais sat around the table at the Masaki house that afternoon, enjoying the wonderful meal that Washu and Tsunami had prepared. Tenchi and Kiyone watched Sasami interacting with "Miss Chihiro" on their wrist TV, while they ate, despite Tenchi being very tired from missing a whole night's sleep -- and still going to work that day. Nobuyuki was flirting with Mihoshi, as Ayeka watched them through narrowed eyes. Washu talked about old times and new with both Katsuhito and Tsunami.

But one person could only grumble about the feast, since she was even denied the wonderful aroma it must have had.

"Why can't I come out of this thing to just have a little taste?" demanded Ryoko's disembodied voice.

"No reason," answered Washu with her mouth full. "Unless you count the possibility of Ramia, or someone else suddenly turning up here at that exact moment to take you in. Wanna risk it?"

Ryoko was silent for a bit. Then, "Not to spoil anybody's appetite, or anything, but what am I supposed to do for a toilet in here? Whiskey is something you can only rent for a little while, you know."

That remark did have a slowing down effect on the speed at which everyone was enjoying the food.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Ryoko," apologized Tsunami. "I should have told you that I already thought of that. All you need to do is use the built-in magic word."

"Okay, so what is it, already?"

"Pi-pi-pu-pu," smiled Tsunami. "I thought that would be easy to remember."

Ryoko was silent again. Even through the interdimensional haze, she could see the others trying valiantly to keep their faces straight.

They could hear her clear her throat. And they could hear the sound of her retreating footsteps. And because they could still hear her use the magic word (albeit softened by distance, and mumbled), they all burst out in uncontrollable laughter.

Presently, there came a pecking on the front door. Washu told everyone to remain seated while she answered it.

"Rumiya!" said Washu. "We had begun to wonder where ya'd gone off to. Come on in and join us at the table. We've got all kinds of traditional dishes waiting for you. How long has it been since you've had really good _flurp_, eh?"

"Too long," admitted the bird, hopping inside and taking a whiff of the air. "Mmm! Sorry about being late. I bumped into an old...friend...on the way back, and she just wanted to talk and talk and not take 'no' for answer. Frankly, I count myself lucky that I was able to slip away from her at all."

"I know whatcha mean," said Washu, winking at him. "Don'tcha just hate people like that? Was it anybody we might know?"

"Gosh, I sure hope not," said the bird, hoping that Washu would let the matter drop at that, and flapping over to land on a special perch beside Tsunami. She shared what was on her plate with him.

Everyone resumed happily chatting and eating. Inside her pocket universe, after Ryoko had made use of it, she had reversed the magic word and made the little restroom disappear. All she could do now was sadly watch everyone else have a good time.

_Why is it I always somehow end up getting punished for just having a little fun? _she asked herself.

"Isn't Ryoko here?" Rumiya suddenly asked.

"Actually, no," answered Washu. "We thought it would be a good idea for her to lay low until Sunday."

"But where could she possibly hide from the Council for four whole days?" asked the bird. "Won't they be looking everywhere?"

"I imagine so," said Washu. "The trick is to be in the one place they may not think to look, in the meantime. I'm gonna tell ya, but this information is not to leave this room, understand, Rumiya? It's got to stay our little secret."

"Of course," agreed the bird. "My beak is sealed."

"That's good enough for me," smiled Washu. "We put her in a special crater on the far side of the moon. The place is such a boring dump, nobody ever goes there. What better place to avoid a worldwide witch

hunt, eh?"

"Wow," said the bird. "I agree. That's actually pretty clever."

"Just remember," said Washu, winking at him once more. "Mum's the word."

"Got it," said the bird, winking back.

"Rumiya!" called Tenchi. "Ryo-Ohki says she's ready for you to come pick her up!"

"Okay!" answered the bird.

"Let me get the door for ya," said Washu, snapping her fingers to do just that.

Washu reclosed the door with a snap after the bird flew out on his next assignment.

Then she asked Tsunami, "Do you think he's even aware that he's a triple agent?"

Tsunami shook her head. "I don't think he knows he's even a _double_ agent. And that's how it should be. Rumiya would never willingly work for Ramia ever again. And he doesn't deserve to have any memories of serving her unwillingly. It's not his fault."

"Agreed," said Washu. "But you must admit that, for now, he makes quite a handy little courier of disinformation. Once Ramia gets this little nugget, something tells me that a lot of witches are

soon gonna be brooming their way to the moon. And they are gonna be awfully angry at somebody when they have to come back empty-handed."

"I'm glad that you two are happy," said Ryoko's voice. "While I'm stuck in here watching all of you eat...and slowly drowning in a puddle of my own drool, I might add."

"...Think she's suffered enough?" asked Washu.

"Yes, I believe it should suffice," smiled Tsunami. She snapped her fingers, causing a platter wrapped in cellophane to float out of the kitchen, right on to her waiting palms. "We wrapped a little care package just for you, Ryoko. You didn't really believe that we'd forget about you, did you?"

"I'd be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind, once or twice."

Chuckling, Tsunami sent the package to Ryoko.

vvv

The Jurais thanked their hosts for a lovely evening. Once back at their own house, Ayeka checked the mailbox, finding several envelopes waiting in it. She was sorting through them in her hands as she, her husband and father-in law entered the living room.

"This one's for you," she said, handing an important-looking envelope to her husband.

Nobuyuki looked it over. "For me? All I ever get are the bills. And this sure doesn't look like one of those."

"Not true," contradicted Ayeka. "What about those girl's comics you keep on getting in the mail?"

"Well, I have to _order_ those, don't I? It's not the same as maybe getting a letter from someone who just wants to know how I'm doing, or just say hello."

"The rest of this is junk," said Ayeka, tossing the other letters out without bothering to open them.

She continued. "I don't know what possible interest a grown man could have in such mush, anyway."

"Mush, it may be. But I caught _you_ reading them on more than one occasion," Nobuyuki said, grinningly pointing to his wife. "You can't deny that."

Ayeka sighed. "I might as well read them. When people in the neighborhood see those things sticking out of our mailbox, they're just naturally going to assume they are really meant for me, anyway. And since they don't ask about it, I don't get any _opportunity_ to deny it."

"Is it my fault that society can't let go of the idea that only women can appreciate a great mushy story?"

Ayeka ignored that. "So are you going to open that, or not?"

"I'm a little afraid to," said Nobuyuki. "Frankly, it looks like something from the government. So it can't be _good_ news."

"Can't you at least pretend that you have a spine?" Ayeka tried to snatch it from him, in order to open it, herself, but he manged to dodge her grasp.

"Okay, okay, hold your horses! I can do this." Nobuyuki slid a pinky inside one corner of the envelope, and carefully began to rip it open. Once open, he slowly slid one hand in and pulled the document out.

He quietly read it, his moving lips testifying to that.

"Well?" asked Ayeka.

"I was right. It's not good news."

"Spit it out already!"

"I've been called for jury duty."

"Is that all?"

"Here. Read who it's from," He handed it to her.

The letterhead proclaimed **The Champions of Humanity**.

vvv

Tenchi called it an early night. He really needed to catch up on his sleep. While Mihoshi washed the dishes, Ryo-Ohki was snoozing on the sofa, next to Washu, who was perusing a clipboard full of notes that Tsunami had given her. Kiyone and Tsunami were upstairs preparing a room for Tsunami and Washu to stay in. Ryoko was still inside the pocket universe, seated on a floating cushion, and occasionally conversing with her mother on what they would likely be facing in court on Sunday.

As Kiyone and Tsunami came downstairs to join Washu and let her know that the room was ready, Mihoshi was also entering the living room, having dried her hands.

This was when the doorchime sounded.

_Who could that be at this hour?_ wondered Kiyone.

Washu must have been thinking the same thing. "Better let me answer it, Kiyone. If it's some troublemaker, just let me handle it, okay?"

When Washu opened the door, there was a man standing there. A devastatingly handsome man, who was sharply dressed, with an air about him that said _I'm just so cool_.

Washu's expression was one of complete and utter shock. The man smiled warmly at her, took her into his arms, and dipped her backwards in one of the most passionate kisses that the others in the room had ever had the pleasure of observing. And Washu didn't seem like she was minding it at all.

When he finally released her, she seemed a little flushed and dizzy.

"Yup," she finally said, fanning herself with a hand. "No doubt about it. It's _you_, all right. Nobody else in the world knows how to kiss like _that. _Hey! Tsunami! Guess who's here?"

"I see," smiled Tsunami, moving to stand beside Washu.

"Tsunami," the man took both of her hands in his and kissed them, too. "If only my lawyer were here, as well. Then this would have been a perfect reunion."

Mihoshi and Kiyone glanced at one another, not knowing what to make of this guy. But, at least, nothing about him seemed threatening in the slightest. In fact, he seemed _supernaturally_ charming.

When Washu found her tongue again, she said, "Oh! Ladies! Uh, allow me to introduce you to Ginji Kobayashi. He's my ex-husband. And Ryoko's father."

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED (Only three more episodes left!)


	11. Chapter 11

Tenchi Muyo! Witch World

Episode 11: Father Knows The Leprechaun

"Greetings, ladies," smiled Ginji, bowing.

Kiyone and Mihoshi bowed right back.

"So what brings you to this neck of the woods?" asked Washu.

"How could I _not_ come and see for myself if it's true? You and Ryoko are the big talk of the entire witch community, worldwide. Aside from that, there are a lot of people interested in how you did it, you know. Bringing Ryoko back to life, I mean."

"I imagine so!" laughed Washu. "It's not something that happens everyday, now, is it?"

"And," continued Ginji, "I was also asked by my little friend to bring him here, as a favor."

Ginji turned and gestured at the open doorway. A little fellow stood there, who no one had noticed before, since all eyes had been preoccupied with Ginji. He was about three feet tall, and had a red beard. His clothing was dark, and he held a matching cap in his hands. And he looked unhappy.

"Moy name is Liam," said the little fellow. "And in case ye couldn't tell, Oi'm a leprechaun."

"Wow," said Mihoshi. "You're not quite the way I always pictured you guys to look."

"Oi know," said the sad little guy. "Ye were expectin' a green suit, smokin' a poip, maybe dancin' a wee jig on the way in, Oi suppose."

"Yeah, something like that," agreed Mihoshi.

"Well, that's not _all_ of us, lassie. And Oi don't know if Oi'll ever be oop to dancin' ever again, after whot Oi've done."

"Aw, things couldn't be all that bad, could they?" asked Mihoshi, placing her hands on her knees, so that she could bend down look the cute little guy in the eye.

"The truth is...the truth is...ah, damn. 'Twas me whot ratted out yer daughter," said Liam to Washu, before dropping his gaze to the floor in shame.

Ginji said, "Just hear him out before you come to any conclusions about him. Liam's really not a bad guy."

Liam took a deep breath. "Oi was once a wealthy fellow, loik moy brethren. Pot o' gold and everythin'. Set fer loif, Oi was. Beautiful woif. Luvely children. Then it happened..."

"Oi was takin' moy usual stroll through the wood, when Oi was accosted boy a tall man with a sack. He grabs me boy moy arm and tosses me into it. Fairly dented moy skull, when Oi hit bottom. Well, he carries me to his hoidout, and he gives me the thard degree. He wanted moy gold, and would stop at nothin' t'get it. Oi knew Oi'd never see moy family ever again, unless Oi gave it to him. So Oi did."

"True to his ward, the man let me go. But now, Oi was broke. When Oi troid to explain to moy dear woif whot had happened, she told me she'd have no choice but to leave me and take the children with her, unless I got the gold back! Believe me, Oi troid. But the man who robbed me was long gone."

"Oi made oop moy mind that if Oi was about t'lose everythin' Oi hold dear, Oi might as well go to the pub and drown moy sorrows with the last few pieces o' gold Oi had in moy pockets. That was when this luvely witch came in. Loif o' the party, she was. Kept tellin' everyone it was her reberthdee, so Oi turned to one o' moy mates and asked whot her story was. And he told me she was the legendary Ryoko, the witch who was hanged boy the humans in Japan. 'But,' I says to him, 'she looks quoit loively to me for a hanged woman.' And he tells me, 'Aye, and that information might be warth a pretty penny to the Champions of Humanity, don'tcha think?'"

"Though it grieves me to admit it, that was when Oi knew what I needed to do. 'Twas a simple choice, Oi thought at the time. All Oi had to do was get in contact with the Champions, foind out how mooch this information was warth to them, and maybe, just maybe, Oi could get moy loif back."

"And so it t'was. Moy woif was overjoyed. She told me how proud she was t'be married to a leprechaun who stood oop fer himself, and took back whot was his. Oi didn't tell her the truth o' how Oi really got that gold. And it has been eatin' away at me ever since. 'Tis dirty money, even if it did allow me t'keep moy family. Roight now, Oi only wish there was somethin' Oi could do t'make oop fer the grief Oi know Oi've caused ye."

Washu did feel sorry for the little fellow. It was obvious that he was sincere in the way he felt about what he had done. And it must have taken a lot for him to work up the courage to face the music like this.

"Well, Liam, you did what you did for the sake of family. I can relate," said Washu. "And maybe, it's all for the best, in the long run. I mean, how long could I hope to keep Ryoko being alive again a secret? At least after the trial, whatever the decision, we can put all of it behind us, and not live like fugitives. Tell ya what, can you stay in town for a few days? You may be able to help our case by the time the trial rolls around."

"Sure, an' Oi'm willin'. Boot Oi am new t'this part o'the warld, and don't know any places here that would poot me oop. Other than that, if Ginji would be so koind as to send moy family a note explainin' t'them that Oi'm foin and expectin' t'be busy far a few days, that t'would be grand."

Ginji placed a hand on the little fellow's shoulder. "You can stay with me, Liam. Washu knows where to reach me, if and when we might be needed. And I can handle your message easily."

To the ladies, he said, "I know it's late, so Liam and I will be on our way. We just wanted to let you know you've got our support, if you need it."

"Thanks, Gin. I'll be in touch," said Washu, "Speaking of messages, is there anything you want me to relay to Ryoko?

"Yes," said Ginji. "Tell her I'm sorry I missed her, especially when she was out partying. I would've enjoyed celebrating with her. There's so much I want to say to her."

"I'm sure of that," said Washu.

Everyone went outside to wave goodbye, as Ginji and Liam hopped back on Ginji's impressive-looking upright vacuum cleaner (which had a diamond-studded saddle on the handle), and took off with an impressive roar into the night sky.

Going back in, Mihoshi, Kiyone, and Tsunami said their goodnights and went to bed. Washu lingered a little while longer, downstairs.

"I noticed you were being awfully quiet, Ryoko," said Washu. "He clearly wants to see_ you_, but from your silence, I gathered that you weren't ready to see _him. _That's why I didn't press the issue."

"So," came Ryoko's voice. "You divorced him while I was dead. That's explains a few things. But it doesn't explain _why?_ You two always looked like you had a lot of fun together."

"We did. The trouble with Ginji is, he likes to have fun with everybody, particularly those of the female persuasion. That gave me only two choices. Put up and shut up. Or try to nag him into being something he's not. I just wasn't up for either one. But just because our marriage didn't work out, it doesn't mean we still can't be very good friends, does it?"

Ryoko sighed. "I suppose not. But for me, you gotta admit, it's a little different. I'm tied to him by blood. Oh, I can't complain about when I was little. He and I had great times that I'll never forget. But ever since the time I was a teenager, he just lost interest. Like he found better playmates, or something. I didn't even see him at my execution. That really hurt. And, like you. he didn't visit me once when I was haunting this house."

"He didn't know you were haunting it, for the most part," said Washu. "I thought it best not to tell him. And don't judge him based on the fact that he couldn't bear to watch you being hanged. Some just don't have the stomach to watch something like that, and be powerless to stop it. Of course, he did eventually hear about the legend of the Kobayashi house, and he did confront me about that. I had to make him promise not to disturb you, so for the rest of the time, he was staying away as a favor to me. Even though he didn't like it one bit."

"Well, if he really wants to come visit me, go ahead and tell him how. I'll be waiting right here. He may have a lot to say to me, but I have no idea what I'm supposed to say to him."

vvv

Next morning, Kiyone sent Tenchi off to work after breakfast. Ryo-Ohki dashed off to school disguised as Sasami, ready to brave another day. Washu and Tsunami took their positions on the sofa to continue discussing their case, with Ryoko's voice occasionally chiming in.

Kiyone took Mihoshi grocery shopping. When they came back, they found the witches still hard at work debating the fine points of witch law, and the witch/human peace treaty.

It was after the groceries had been put away, that Mihoshi had begun to act a little strange. First, she patted all her pockets. With a more worried look, she patted them all a second time.

"Oh, no!" she said, giving the kitchen floor, dining room floor, and living room floor several frantic once overs.

As the witches continued talking, they tried their best to ignore Mihoshi as she kept pushing her hands behind and underneath the sofa cushions.

"Oh, no, oh, no!" she kept repeating.

She ran upstairs to her room, where she proceeded to root through her belongings in the closet. Then she rummaged through her bed and pillow covers, and even looked under the mattress.

"Oh, no!"

She ran back downstairs. And almost into Kiyone, who was looking her sternly in the eyes.

"Did you lose something, Mihoshi?"

"Um...well...yes," said Mihoshi.

"Well, tell us what it is," said Kiyone. "Maybe we can help you find it."

"Well...it's...um...my notebook."

"Your what?"

"My notebook, Kiyone! The one I write all my journalistic observations in."

"Including the most recent ones? About Ryoko, and everything that's happened here?"

Mihoshi nodded. "It's all in there."

"You have absolutely no idea where it is?"

"Well, no..."

"Do you have any idea what someone who finds it can do?" asked Kiyone. "Steal the idea for my book! Turn this house into a tourist stomping ground! We'll have to move again!"

"I know! I'm sorry, Kiyone!"

"Sorry doesn't feed the bulldog!"

Washu said, "Chances are pretty good that if a typical human finds it, it'll just get laughed at and thrown out. But, depending upon what exactly you wrote in it, Mihoshi, if it should be found by a witch, or one of the champions of humanity, something like that could be used as damaging evidence against us at the trial. We have to find that notebook!"

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED (Only two more episodes left!)


	12. Chapter 12

"No need to panic," sighed Kiyone, producing the notebook from one of her own pockets, and pointedly holding it up for Mihoshi to see. "Luckily, I found it on the floor by the door. It probably slipped out when you bent down to talk to Liam. Sorry I needed to get everyone all worked up, but I wanted you to see for yourself how much trouble a little thing like losing this could cause everyone. That's why, for the time being, I'm going to put this someplace safe, where I know it won't fall into the wrong hands."

Tenchi Muyo! Witch World

Episode 12: The Trial Begins

On Wednesday, Ginji did return to visit Ryoko inside her pocket universe.

"Hello, Ryoko," he said with his killer smile.

Ryoko sat on her floating cushion with her arms folded, and looked away from him. "Well, long time, no see."

Ginji obligingly stepped back into her field of vision, so that she didn't even need to turn her head to see him. But this time, he wasn't smiling any more.

"Yes, it has. Washu told me about how disappointed you were in me not being at your execution. I guess I can't blame you. If I was about to die...maybe I'd want my loved ones around. And, believe me, that thought did occur to me back then, too. I thought I could steel myself up for it. But, in the end, I just couldn't watch them do what they did to you. If that makes me a coward in your eyes, then, okay, I can live with that. But if that makes me anything other than your dad in your eyes, well, _that_ I can't and won't live with."

Ryoko couldn't argue with the sincerity in his eyes. "Aww, don't be silly. Of _course _you're my dad. And it's _because_ you're my dad that it hurt so much. We used to be so close when I was little. I could never understand why that ended when I became a teenager. I blamed you for a long time for being uncaring. Then I started to wonder if maybe I did something to drive you away. That's when I went through my self-blaming phase. Finally, I just stopped giving any kind of a damn."

Ginji nodded. "There comes a point where you just have to cut the apron strings. Part of growing up means letting go of your parents' hands and exploring the world on your own. Cool as I am, you deserved better than to have the old man hovering over you all the time, cramping your style, you know. I've known plenty of fathers that, if they had their way, would lock their daughters up and throw away the key, rather than let some boy steal her away. I vowed a long time ago not to be one of those, and so maybe I overdid it. Then again, maybe not. From where I'm standing, I think you turned out just fine."

"FINE?" said Ryoko. "I was out of control! I got myself captured and hanged! FINE?"

"Sure. Don't think for one moment that I wasn't out of control when I was your age. It just means that... well...that you are more like me than your mother."

"Hmph," said Ryoko. "You're still out of control. Otherwise, you'd still be married to her."

Ginji laughed. "Ha! You've got a point, there! I guess the moral of the story is that each one of us has to be who we are. Because if you're not, than who are you?"

Gingi and Ryoko spent the rest of the day getting reacquainted and remembering old times.

vvv

Things went mostly quietly for the rest of the week. By the time the day of the trial rolled around, Washu and Tsunami were both satisfied that they were as prepared as they were ever going to be.

An impressive-looking bus pulled up to the Masaki house on Sunday. The driver looked like an unpleasant ogre, but everyone piled aboard, including the Jurais next door.

The ride took them down some familiar roads, and then down some very unfamiliar ones. When the journey finally came to an end, Tenchi even had his doubts that they were still in Japan. An idea that was made spookier by the realization that the country was surrounded by water.

The courthouse looked like a huge lodge, nestled on a secluded mountain top, inside the clearing of a tall forest. It would have made a fine vacation destination, except taking a vacation was the farthest thing from everyone's mind. Some very serious business was about to be conducted inside.

Humans, witches, and beings of all sorts were milling about outside. Some looked like humanoids with lion-like faces, while others appeared to have popped out of various storybooks. There were elves, imps, dwarves, and leprechauns (and Liam was among that bunch). Assorted ogres, trolls, fairies, and things that Tenchi could not associate with a name, also dotted the landscape.

Washu proudly led the procession from the bus toward the courthouse. Many of the spectators here recognized who she was, as evidenced by how often Tenchi could hear her name being repeated by them. Quite a few of them even stepped forward to shake her hand and ask for her autograph. Ryoko, however, was not getting so warm a reception by anyone. Not that she seemed bothered by that in the least.

Sasami stepped out of the courthouse, and when she saw her parents, she ran toward them with her arms out. Tenchi picked her up and spun her around in the air before giving her a big hug.

Inside, there was a great hall that was done in a raw wood motif. There were seats for the spectators, and the judge's bench was up by the far wall. To the right of that was the jury box. Nobuyuki kissed Ayeka goodbye and headed off to it.

Directly in front of the judge's bench were two tables with chairs set up for the prosecution and the defense. At the prosecutor's table, a lone confident Ramia sat, smiling, as she watched Tsunami and Washu take their seats at defense.

As everyone was still finding their seats, Ramia decided to walk over and have a little chat with her opponents.

"Hello, Tsunami. Washu. I hope you two are prepared to give it your all, because I intend to show you no mercy, whatsoever. Especially not after that little moon stunt you pulled over on me. Good one, by the way."

"Oh, there's plenty more where that came from, I can assure you," said Washu. "Have no fear, Tsunami and I intend to make this case one for the history books, so if it's a fight you want, we'll see to it that you won't be disappointed."

No sooner did everyone get comfortable, when a lion-faced man cried out, "All rise for the Honorable Judge Azusa!"

An impressive looking bearded man in dark robes sat down at the bench, while everyone stood up.

"Please be seated," he said, and everyone sat back down, again. "I now call this trial to order. In the Case of the Witch Community versus Washu Hakubi, the charges are one count of willful disobedience against the Council of Elders, and one count of violating the peace treaty between the witch community and the human community. Defense, I must ask you now how do you plead, with regard to each charge?"

Tsunami stood up. "Your Honor, My client pleads 'not guilty' to both charges."

"So let it be entered," said the judge. "Ramia, as bringer of the charges, you may now make your opening remarks, if any."

Tsunami sat down, as Ramia rose as approached the bench.

"Thank you, Your Honor," she said. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, and honored guests. It was once in a courtroom much like this one, that one Ryoko Kobayashi, witch and daughter of the accused witch, Washu, was tried and convicted of multiple charges of using her powers in an extremely unacceptable manner against the human community. It was the decision of that court that Ryoko be hanged by the neck until dead. It was the decision of the Council, abiding by the peace treaty, that no witch interfere with the execution. When the sentence was carried out, it appeared to one and all to be _properly_ carried out, and everyone had been led to believe that the matter was finally concluded. But, unfortunately, it was not. I intend to prove, beyond all reasonable doubt, that Washu _indeed_ interfered with the decisions made, in the most insidious way that she could dream up in order to attempt to get away with it, and, in so doing, defied both the Council and the treaty. For this, she deserves nothing less than the harshest punishment that the law allows, given the enormity of her crime. That is all I have to say, Your Honor."

"Very well," said the judge, as Ramia returned to her seat. "Tsunami, as attorney for the accused, you may now make your opening remarks, if any."

"Thank you, Your Honor," smiled Tsunami. "Love the haircut, by the way."

Azusa blushed. "Why, thank you. You're the only one who noticed, all day."

Ramia's jaw dropped. But she said nothing.

Tsunami rose and went over to stand before the bench. "Thank you all for coming, despite the enormous inconvenience it must have been for so many of you. I can assure you that every attempt will be made to speed things along so that everyone may return to their lives as quickly as possible. I intend to prove, beyond the shadow of any doubt, that Ramia does not know what she's talking about, and is, in fact, behaving like a jerk. That's it, Your Honor."

"Very well," smiled the judge. As Tsunami went back to her seat, he looked to Ramia. "Prosecutor, you may begin presenting your case."

Ramia could have complained about the "jerk" thing, but she decided that drawing any more attention to her opponent's childishness would be counterproductive and unnecessary. The important thing was to win this case, and to do that in a professional manner. If Tsunami needed to compliment the judge on his hairstyle, that just proved how desperate she was to find a winning angle. Ramia was confident that she had the facts on her side, and that was all one truly needed in a court of law.

Ramia stood up. "Your Honor, I call, as my first witness, Ryoko Kobayashi to the stand."

There was a murmuring among the crowd as Ryoko got up and made her way to the stand. Sitting down when she reached it, she sneered at Ramia, who began to interrogate her.

"I don't understand," whispered Ayeka to Ginji, who sat beside her. "Aren't they going to swear her in?"

"There's no need in a witch court," explained Ginji. "The stand exerts a power over the witness that compels them to tell only the truth."

"I see," marveled Ayeka. _If only humans had something like that..._

"State your name, for the record," began Ramia.

"I am Ryoko Kobayashi. The one and only."

"By that, I presume, you mean that you are the genuine article," said Ramia. "You are not a robot or a puppet made in Ryoko's image."

"That's right."

"You are not a shape-shifter, clone, or projected illusion."

"You got it."

"You are the same Ryoko whom I had described earlier as being hanged until dead?"

"That was me, all right."

"AH HAH!" cried Ramia, pointing triumphantly at the witness. "I put it to you that _you_ are very much alive! How do you explain _that_?"

"My mother reunited my spirit with my body and gave me a new lease on life," shrugged Ryoko. "I was reborn."

"Wasn't your body cremated not long after your execution?"

"It was."

"Then this cannot be your original body."

"Oh, I'm afraid it is. But since the technique is currently being patented but my mother, I am not at liberty to discuss it openly."

Ramia blinked. "So, what you're saying is, what your mother has done is discovered some new non-zombielike way of reanimating the dead?"

"You better believe it."

Ramia sighed. "All that we have established here, so far, is that _you _believe it. You might be naïve, brainwashed, or simply under a spell. No further questions, Your Honor."

"Does the defense have any questions for the witness?" asked the judge.

Tsunami rose. "Yes, Your Honor."

She approached the stand, speaking to Ryoko. "Since my opponent won't ask you this question, I will. Ryoko, did your mother ever confess to you any intent or desire to willfully disobey the Council or the Treaty?"

"No, never." answered Ryoko. "Until recently, I never knew why I was haunting our old house. Turns out, she was the one who cursed me to that fate."

Tsunami faced the jury. "Which, I must point out, ladies and gentlemen, was in no way a violation of the Council ruling or the Treaty. Ryoko was sentenced to death -- and the sentence was carried out, without any witch's intervention. As per our long standing custom, it was up to Ryoko's family to deal with her remains, both physical and spiritual, as they saw fit. Washu was entirely within her rights to cremate the body and to curse her soul to haunt the house indefinitely."

"No further questions, Your Honor," said Tsunami, returning to her seat beside Washu.

"You may step down," Azusa told Ryoko -- who stuck her tongue out at Ramia before returning to her seat among the visitors.

"Your Honor," said Ramia, "For my next witness, I'd like to call the demon, Ryo-Ohki."

"Me?" said Ryo-Ohki, wide-eyed and pointing to herself, while sitting up on Sasami's lap,

"Looks like it," Sasami told her. "Better go."

"Okay," said Ryo-Ohki, with uncertainty, hopping to the floor, then to the aisle, then down the aisle to the stand.

Due to Ryo-Ohki's size, the seat was adjusted in order to give everyone in the court a better view of her, as Ramia began.

"What is your relationship to the defendant?"

"Houseguest, I suppose," said Ryo-Ohki.

"Houseguest?" repeated Ramia. "Is that all? No closer relationship than that?"

"That pretty much sums it up."

"Wouldn't it be more accurate to say that your relationship is more like that of a witch and her familiar?"

"Maybe. But since I've never been either, I really can't say."

Ramia smiled. "What were you doing on the day that you first met _me_?"

"I was playing with Sasami in the back yard."

"Sasami would be the young human girl currently living in the Kobayashi house, correct?"

"Yes," said Ryo-Ohki. "The one you kidnapped that day."

Ramia's smile disappeared. "_Placed in custody_, pending this trial, which I was legally empowered to do, for your -- and everyone else's -- information. Please tell the court what you were doing just prior to my action."

"Well, I was..."

"Speak up! I want the jury and everyone else to clearly hear your testimony. I ask you again, what were you doing just prior to my action?"

"I was imitating Ryoko."

"By 'imitating' you mean you had assumed her form and her voice, as you are a member of a shape-changing species, and have this ability, correct?"

"Yes."

"Prior to that time, had Washu worked her unique magic, which brought Ryoko back to life?"

"Yes."

"Yet, you were specifically impersonating her _ghost_ form, were you not?"

"Yes."

"To what end?"

"I-I wanted you to believe that she was still dead and haunting the property."

"So you were deliberately using your ability to mislead an official of the Council, and thereby act as an obstruction to justice?"

"Well, I don't know about that second part, but, yes, I was trying to fool you in order to protect my friend."

Ramia was now smiling, again. "No further questions, You Honor."

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED (Only one more episode left!)


	13. Chapter 13

Tenchi Muyo! Witch World

Episode 13: The Trial (and Tale) Concludes

"Your witness," said Ramia to Tsunami.

Tsunami only rose long enough to say, "No questions," before sitting back down.

"You may return to your seat," the judge told Ryo-Ohki.

Ryo-Ohki hopped down and rather unhappily did so. As she took her place beside Sasami once more, Sasami gave her a comforting pat.

"I call as my next witness, none other than the accused, Washu Hakubi, herself!" said Ramia.

If Washu was experiencing any doubts as she got up and approached the stand, she certainly showed no outward signs of it. In fact, she was the perfect picture of calm as she sat down on the witness seat.

Before Ramia could utter a world, Washu's attention was suddenly diverted to where the visitors were seated, by a cry from one of them.

"YOU!"

Everyone turned to behold little Liam, the leprechaun, who had jumped up upon his seat and was now pointing an accusatory finger at someone in the jury box.

Liam's face was twisted in rage. His eyes were glowing red and he projected an aura that made everyone in his immediate vicinity scooch away from him in panic.

Washu then looked toward the jury box and saw a human male juror, most likely the one to which Liam was pointing, jump to his own feet with a startled look on his own face. Judging by his expression, this fellow had never seen a really angry leprechaun, either.

"Liam, you know that guy?" asked Washu.

Liam began rolling up his sleeves. "Oi'll say Oi know that spawn of a human harr! He's the one whut assaulted me, an' stole moy pot o' gold!"

With a roar, Liam jumped into the aisle and charged toward the jury box as rapidly as his small legs could move - which was surprisingly fast, actually.

Though the human juror did make an attempt to flee, Liam leapt into the air and floored him with a two foot landing on his chest, whereupon he commenced beating the human's face with both fists.

"Wow," said Washu, to no one in particular. "And he ended up serving on the jury? What are the odds of _that_ happening?"

She looked over to the judge, who heard her remark, but he merely shrugged his reply.

"Say, not to be a killjoy or anything, Your Honor," said Washu. "But shouldn't you be banging your gavel? 'Order in the court,' and all that stuff?"

"What's your hurry, Washu?" asked the judge. "Personally, I want to see how this plays out, don't you?"

Washu admitted that with a nod and a raised eyebrow.

The human juror threw Liam against a wall and tried to make a break for the exit. A crude-looking walking stick magically appeared in Liam's hand.

"Have a taste of moy magic _shillelagh_!" said Liam, tossing it at his foe.

The stick flew into the legs of the retreating human, first tripping him, then proceeding to soundly beat him. Until Liam caught up to him, brushing the stick aside and causing it to disappear, then grabbing the human by the neck to begin throttling him.

"Okay, that's enough," Azusa banged his gavel. "Bailiff, clear the court of these two."

As a large beefy lion-faced fellow split them up, Washu had to ask Liam a question.

"Liam! If you had powers like _that_, why did you let him rob you in the first place?"

"Saints preserve us!" cried Liam, reverting to his usual appearance. "'Tis news to me, as well! Somethin' tells me Oi'm goin' ta need a good lawyer! Is there one in the house?"

Both Ramia and Tsunami came running over, presenting their cards. Liam pointedly ignored Ramia's card with a distasteful look to her, before taking Tsunami's card with an appreciative smile. Both combatants were ushered out of the house.

"I imagine Liam must have been too scared at the time, and, obviously, anger is what releases his powers," surmised Tsunami. "I guess the lesson here is never make a leprechaun mad at you."

"Boy, I'll say!" said Mihoshi, seated among the spectators. "You wouldn't _like_ him when he's angry!"

Ramia faced the judge. "Your Honor, does this mean the trial must now be postponed to a later time?"

"Why?" asked Azusa. "What for?"

"Uh, because the jury is now short one human member?"

"Nonsense!" barked Azusa, directing his gaze back to Mihoshi. "You! The blonde woman! Stand up, if you please."

"Who? Me?" Mihoshi arose, pointing to herself.

"Yes. You look like an unbiased sort of human. Are you?"

Mihoshi smiled. "Why, yes, I guess you could say that."

"Good! Take your seat among the jury."

"Oh, wow!" Mihoshi hurriedly went up and took her new position.

Azusa cleared his throat. "There. Matter fixed. You may now continue, prosecutor."

Ramia shrugged, then faced Washu once more.

"So, Washu, I ask you, what is the purpose of a death penalty?"

"To kill people, I imagine," answered Washu.

"To kill _innocent_ people, or guilty ones?"

"I suppose that the intent is to kill the guilty, but, in practice, a lot of innocent people have died, too, haven't they?"

"_I'll_ be the one to ask the questions, for now. Your job is to answer. When Ryoko's guilty verdict was handed down, was it a fair or unfair decision?"

"To answer that, I'll need a clarification of the question. In what context do you mean?"

"How much more plain can I make it? Was Ryoko's punishment a just one or not?"

"Well, from a mother's perspective, I'd say not. But the jury clearly thought otherwise."

"Yes! They certainly did," smiled Ramia. "Did Ryoko break the law? Yes or no."

"Yes. But -"

"And that's the only context that matters in a court of law," interrupted Ramia.

"True, but the reason why we have trials at all is because every case is unique, and the law must be interpreted accordingly," said Washu.

Ramia paused only for a moment to gloat. She moved in for the kill.

"Did Ryoko understand that she was breaking the law when she broke it?"

Washu frowned. "You should have asked her that when you had her up here."

"I'm asking _you_, the one currently on the stand! Answer the question!"

"What can I say? Ryoko is a natural rule-breaker."

"Then, motherly concerns aside, you agree that Ryoko was aware of breaking the law, did it anyway, and suffered the punishment legally prescribed, which was death by hanging. Now, Washu, what is it that makes a death sentence different from a life sentence?"

"Um, the fact that one is still breathing in a life sentence?"

"You know what I'm getting at! Which one is more permanent? Prior to the development of your restoration technique, of course."

"Well, death, of course."

"So you understand now, as well as then, that what the law required of your daughter was the permanent sentence?"

"Sure."

"Yet, here we all are. Because of what you did. You agreed to not interfere with justice. But there sits the plain proof of just the opposite," said Ramia, pointing to where Ryoko was sitting.

Ramia looked at the judge. "No further questions, Your Honor. The prosecution rests its case."

"You may step down," said the judge to Washu.

As Washu returned to her seat beside Tsunami, the judge continued.

"Tsunami, the defense may now present its case."

Tsunami rose up, facing the judge. "Thank you, Your Honor. The defense waives this phase - and requests to go immediately to summation."

There was a gasp in the crowd. Ryoko rolled her eyes in disgust. Even Ramia was looking at her opponent in disbelief. Was Tsunami resigned to losing this case, so she wasn't even bothering to defend her client? Or was she _that_ certain that her client needed no defending?

"Very well," said the judge. "Ramia, you may present your summation."

"Gladly, Your Honor," smiled Ramia, who got up and moved before the jury, in order to pace up and down in front of it. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Only a few moments ago, we had an admission from a shape-shifting demon that she used her power to obstruct justice. Why? Because there _is_ justice to obstruct! The witch, Ryoko, did knowingly violate our laws and paid the price for it. But did she really? How _could_ she when she lives and breathes among us? The law is clear. It demands the _permanency_of death for her crimes. Something that the accused, the witch Washu, admits to understanding fully well, when she violated the law in order to bring her daughter back from the dead! Both mother and daughter agree that this was Washu's doing, and in so doing, has made a mockery of the previous trial, and a mockery of the law, and, no less than a mockery of the Treaty, as well! In so doing, Washu has invited the harshest penalty that the law allows, and, like her daughter, does not deserve any mercy. And the only way to do that, ladies and gentlemen, is for you to do your civic duty. To do the right thing, the clearly obvious thing. Find the defendant, Washu Hakubi, guilty."

Ramia returned to her seat, and sat back down.

"Um..." came a voice from the jury box. "Um...excuse me?"

Ramia looked up to see Mihoshi, the latest juror, waving at her for her attention. This both annoyed and perplexed Ramia.

"Yes?" answered Ramia, giving Mihoshi an odd look, as a juror wanting to speak during this phase was highly irregular.

"Um...aren't your supposed to thank us, at the end of your speech?"

"For what?"

"Well, for listening to you. I've covered a few trials in my career as a journalist, and it's been my experience that the lawyers always thank the jurists at the end."

"Yeah," and "That's right," said a few other voices in the jury box.

For a moment, Ramia was stunned speechless.

Then, sighing, she decided to give this dimwit what she wanted rather than argue with her. Ramia stood up and bowed to the jury.

"Thank you." Then Ramia sat back down.

"That's better," someone in the jury grumbled.

The judge paid no heed. "Tsunami, let's have your summation."

"Thank you, Your Honor," smiled Tsunami pleasantly at the judge, as she made her way to stand before the jury. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'll make this brief so that you may quickly begin your deliberations. Firstly, I would just like to say that Ryoko did pay for her crimes with her life, as the law demanded. The law also states that the remains are for the next of kin to do with as they will. The law, however, - and this is important to stress - fails to address the possibilities of what may or may not be done with the body and soul in the aftermath of an execution. So there _is_ no law to apply. This is virgin legal territory. Additionally, Washu never had any guarantees that any of her way out ideas about possibly bringing Ryoko back would work. No reasonable person can nor should penalize her for trying, because there was and is no law against it. And certainly no intelligent person can nor should punish her for _succeeding_. Because, ladies and gentlemen, if you vote to destroy Washu, then you also vote to destroy what she has discovered. A way for each of you to bring back a loved one, as well. Thank you for your attention."

There was a hush in the entire courtroom that was so quiet, as Tsunami bowed and returned to her seat, that one might've been able to hear a dandruff flake hit the floor - had there been one falling, that is. Until Ramia broke that silence.

"I object!" she shouted, jumping to her feet and pointing at Tsunami. "She's...she's..._bribing_ the jury!"

Azusa banged his gavel. "You know very well that there's no such thing as objecting during this phase! Now sit down and be quiet!"

"Yes, Your Honor," Ramia paled and dropped back onto her chair.

The judge then faced the jury. "You will now be escorted to another room where you will begin your deliberations. Please take all the time that you need to reach a verdict, and understand that your verdict must be unanimous."

Thirty minutes after the jury had filed out, they filed back in.

"Will the defendant and her counsel please rise?" asked the judge.

Both Washu and Tsunami got to their feet.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury," announced the judge. "Have you reached a verdict?"

Nobuyuki stood up and cleared his throat. "Yes, we have, Your Honor."

Everyone inside the courthouse held their breath, intent on hearing what his next words were going to be. The silence was gripping.

"On the count of violating the peace treaty, we find the defendant, Washu Hakubi...not guilty. On the count of disobedience to the council...not guilty."

Most of the people, beings, creatures, whatever you want to call them, erupted in hearty applause and cheers. Tsunami and Washu hugged one another.

"So noted," said the judge, banging his gavel once. "I declare this trial concluded. Have a pleasant evening, everyone."

With that, the judge left the bench via a nearby exit.

Ramia shot to her feet in shocked indignation, looking straight at Nobuyuki. "_Not __guilty? _I had her dead to rights! How could you _possibly_ arrive at such a verdict?"

"Well, it was unanimous," explained Nobuyuki. "We all agreed that we just don't like you."

Ramia just stood there with her mouth hanging open.

Washu took that opportunity to yawn and stretch. "Works for me. Hey, Tsunami, whatta ya say we go grab a bite somewhere before we go our separate ways?"

But before another word could be uttered by anyone, a sudden huge, sparkling, swirling effect engulfed the courtroom. Tenchi, and everyone else who had arrived with him into this world against their will, felt an oddly familiar sensation in the pits of their stomachs as they were torn away from it again, flailing and screaming their way down through another artificially created inter-reality wormhole.

vvv

Tenchi, dressed only in his favorite briefs, arrived at the breakfast table with his hair in a just-awakened uncombed mess, and groggily poured himself a bowlful of Admiral Crunch cereal.

Kiyone was already there, pacing back and forth impatiently, and rolling her large single eye at Nobuyuki, who currently had his claws stuck inside the garbage bin, foraging for any might-be left-overs to eat. He managed to find something that was suitably disgusting to humans, but which looked perfectly scrumptious to him. But before he could eat it, Ryo-Ohki sailed past him through the air and snatched it from his grip - devouring it, herself - with a fairly loud belch. In the same leap, she managed to land on the nearby litterbox in order to produce another spherical lump of dark matter, which she promptly buried.

Ayeka was on the couch snuggling with her alien hubby, Kif, while Katsuhito was busy smoking a cigar and polishing his shiny metal ass. Mihoshi was hard at work, stamping papers at her desk, when she exclaimed, "Sweet banana of Tijuana!" at the sight of Ryoko's disembodied head floating quietly in a jar full of liquid right beside the tallest stack of unstamped papers, and looking at Mihoshi with an annoyed expression - almost as if Mihoshi had something to do with her current condition.

Sasami, for some strange reason, had a mustache, and was rinsing a mop in a bucket in a far corner of the room, indifferent to being ignored by the others.

"Good news, everyone!" exclaimed Professor Washu upon entering the room. "I've invented a device that lets you create the perfect world of your dreams...and then it teleports you there!"

"Oh, Lord," moaned Kiyone.

"Here we go again," sighed Ryoko.

* * *

THE END...?


End file.
